Heads up: this is part of an ongoing series about my experience with GLP-1 medication. If that’s a triggering topic, please feel free to skip. I’m not telling anyone what to do with their body. I just need to process this, and I figure someone out there is more scared than I am and could use the company. Start at the beginning →

A few days ago — what seems like eons, actually — my meds arrived along with a sharps container and a package of insulin needles. Which is fine, I guess. But they actually say for insulin only on them and frankly that’s obnoxious because I’m obviously doing what I was told to do by a medical professional and yet here I am still breaking a rule and feeling faintly guilty about it.

Anyway. I digress.

I just injected myself with anything ever, actually, for the first time. I’ve never put a needle in my body and pushed the plunger.

I think it would have been a lot easier to do to someone else for multiple reasons, not the least of which is leaning over to inject yourself in the belly is awkward whether you’re standing or sitting.

But I did it.

I watched a little video and followed every precious little step, including every single wipe with an alcohol pad that’s indicated. I was precious about every detail until it came time to put the needle into my stomach, and then I seemed to forget all sense.

Jammed it in, angle be damned.

But was it in all the way? How hard do I need to push that needle in? Is it okay to push the plunger now? I jerked my hand back by instinct to look and realized it no longer mattered because it wasn’t in there anymore.

Okay. Once again. Poke, is it in? I think it’s in? Shouldn’t this hurt? Shaky shaky shaky hands needle drop. Caught it. I fucking caught it, but still, it was no longer in.

One more time. Push the plunger. The plunger isn’t moving. Looking down I can’t tell. It was such a small amount. It looks gone?

Moments later, three distinct little spots of ouch began to warm on my stomach. I glanced down. All things considered, a pretty tight grouping.

There was a lot of conversation while all of this was going on. Making my partner stay in the room with me while I do it but for goodness sake, man, look away.

It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and yet… not fun.

A couple of hours later I’m feeling mostly fine. My head a little achey for sure, but having lived in this body for a good while I can tell you that there’s a large likelihood the headache was already lying in wait.