It's 7:23 in the morning on Father's Day. I'm curled up in bed next to a sleeping father. Not my father. Not the father of my child. Also not just some dad. In a weird way he's sort of everyone's startup dad in Portland. But he's asleep so we'll move on. I didn't actually come … Continue reading labels matter…
I'm working for myself now. Which is not something I ever particularly wanted to do, if I'm honest. Before I go any further, let me be specific. Because my partner spends his days working with founders, and founders are entrepreneurs in the Merriam-Webster sense: entrepreneurial — having to do with the creation and development of … Continue reading I’m not the entrepreneurial sort…
Heads up: this is the opening piece of a series about my experience starting GLP-1 medication. If that's a triggering topic, please feel free to skip. I'm not telling anyone what to do with their body. I just need to process this, and I figure someone out there is more scared than I am and … Continue reading mutant notes 01: did I mention I’m afraid of needles…
I spent a lot of time over the past few years looking for a new way to be professional. My nervous breakdown slash autism surprise slash ADHD diagnosis slash leaving the workforce slash trying to find myself as a human without inserting myself into toxic and unhealthy cultures came at an inconvenient time, frankly. The … Continue reading as I was saying…
I love The Clash. I've always loved The Clash. I was so young when I started listening to them that I don't actually remember the first time I heard them. They formed the year before I was born and because they were always just there I never thought of them as a band that started. … Continue reading here we here we here we go again…
I've never been able to satisfactorily explain this, but I don't like to be touched. Unless I do. And by never been able to satisfactorily explain it, I mean to anybody. Including myself. People sometimes think or feel in huge generalities. I niche down. The big space is too nebulous for me. There are maybe … Continue reading unless I do…
I struggle to exist in space with other people. I understand what’s happening around me. The shape of the room. The dynamics. The unspoken tensions. I can observe a situation with almost clinical clarity. As long as I’m not part of it. The moment I factor into the equation, my grip loosens. It’s like I … Continue reading blending…
On the Venn diagram where multi-letter diagnoses, neurotype, and lived experience overlap, there’s this very specific little pocket of my brain that desperately wants to move the furniture. I don’t know what it is about it… Maybe it’s a bit like playing dollhouse. Except now I get to play dollhouse the way I want to. … Continue reading midnight musical chairs…
Monday is therapy day for me. It maybe doesn’t seem like a good idea to stack lifelong trauma work and mental health check-ins at the start of a new week in the hellscape we’re all living through… but somehow it works. I get just enough distance from the last week to reflect and reset before … Continue reading Masking Monday: The Illness I Pretend Isn’t There
Yesterday I went to brunch and the ballet with two of my dearest. In the process I was around thousands of people. I watched them. I got to know everyone in my vicinity in my own quiet, introverted way. I named people. Formed attachments to humans who may not have even noticed I exist. I … Continue reading masking monday: showing up
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