It has been at least 5 years since I’ve owned a toaster. If I had to guess I’d say it’s been more like 13 because I can’t recall having a toaster when I met Mike and I don’t think he had one either. I’m guessing the last time I had a toaster was when I shared an apartment with my friend Dave… but I can’t even harness a strong recollection of having toast in that apartment. For all I know the last time I had a toaster was when I lived with my mom and dad.
That’s really something to think about. No toaster for 15 years.
I’ve known for a while that I wanted… no, needed a toaster. I’m not a huge toast eater but I have a kid, and that kid? She likes toast. She also likes waffles, french toast, english muffins and bagels. These are all things that can be toasted in a toaster! In our old house we had a toaster oven.
I know what you’re thinking but no, it’s not the same thing. At all.
The house we live in now has a very small kitchen. Now I love our house to bits and pieces but having a small kitchen is tough, especially if you’re like me and are a fan of large appliances. We have a mighty stove and fridge. We recently replaced a large microwave with a smaller one (and by recently I mean we bought the microwave at the same store at the same time as this toaster I’m going on and on about because our microwave decided it wanted to go away).
How have I been toasting things for the 5 years we’ve lived in this house you ask? Good question. Great question. I’ve been using the broil feature on my big ol oven. It’s a great oven and it does toast things but it’s not really the most efficient use of resources. So after possibly 15 years of being toasterless I bought one. It’s beautiful. It’s wonderful. I imagine that it toasts things really well but I can’t say for sure since I haven’t taken it out of the box yet.
I have to be honest with you though, I’m already a little bit disappointed.. You see that food item I’m pointing to? 
I thought it was Eggs Benedict. I didn’t realize it was a bagel with cheese, ham and an egg until I sat down to write this and I’m a little sad about it. I liked to idea of buying a toaster with my very favorite breakfast food ever on the box. I had amazing dreams of the perfect breakfast made for me by my sexy husband. Maybe he was wearing a little apron and a cute pair of green and black stripy underwear. But I don’t want him to make me that crazy looking breakfast thing…
Maybe he’ll make me Eggs Benedict anyway. I’ll let you know how it goes. With the toaster I mean.. not the underwear. Jeez is nothing sacred?
CamiKaos 
So the next time you have an Australian guy in your basement with Vegemite, you’ll be able to bring the toaster downstairs and have a toast-off in the studio! ;)
Hope that picture was taken in a mirror, otherwise, you bought a very defective toaster.
Does he know you posted a photo of his underwear on your blog? Yikes. Punishable offense, that.
Erk: thinking ahead I see
John: Photo booth on the Mac shoots mirror image. Sometimes I reverse them before I post… othertimes I like the otherworldly quality… (and I asked if I could post those undies… and then when he said no I told him it was pivotal to the post… he relented…)
New toaster! Yay!!!
Take pictures of that Eggs Bendict, because you know now if he DOESN’T make it, he’ll get some shizz from the internets.
Or, at least, me. :)
Williams-Sonoma makes a great 6 egg poacher that has made our ocassional household Eggs Benedict a truley awesome thing to behold, and quite delicious as well. Honeybacked ham makes a great improvement as well.
We had a toaster for our entired married lives (32 yrs)until our house fire (no the toaster didn’t cause it) and then we decided to just go with a toaster oven and that has worked nicely….I still kinda miss the pop up
‘boing’… also know that one of these days I’ll decide we need a real toaster again…probably when Lilac produces me a grandkidlet!!! ENJOY!
I’m sure glad you got the toaster, last time I tried toasting at your house I almost forgot it, luckily we all regained our minds before the smoke alarm went off. Hope your days get better. Love.
Lawdy that was funny!
Love your funny blog. i also love me some TOAST! Keep posting-you are a trip.