And when I say ugly… I really do mean ugly. Like, OMG, so ugly.
Mother’s day (for me) started Saturday… from here it’s all bullet points… but really dashes because I like them better:
– A friend, not wanting to spew Start Trek spoilers at me but wanting to be able to talk to me without her head exploding, offered to watch K so that Mike and I could see the new Trek movie.
– Mike, knowing that there was no way he’d be getting up early to make me breakfast in bed or deal with the small being that is the reason I get celebrated on Mother’s Day anyway, decided to take me out to a lovely dinner. We went to a place that’s a favorite of people in this neighborhood and had a fantastic meal and a pretty darn good martini.
– When we got home from dinner the three of us had a snugglefest and watched the “Mirror, Mirror” episode of classic Trek before drifting off to dreamland/ twitterness and show editing.
– K slept in until 8.
– I had to get up at 8 to get her something to eat and what not since Mike was up late editing and posting our podcast.
– I was really really hungry
– We went to brunch at Springwater Grill so I could get Eggs Benedict and see Ron the best most wonderful bartender in the whole world (he’s also a terribly nice person)
– It took 6 years for our food to arrive
– But I had a Gin Zing and that kind of made me not care so much
– K’s eggs were a little over cooked
– Mine were perfect
– Mike had a sandwich so his eggs, which did not exist, were fine
– We stopped at a cute little boutique on our way home and did some shopping. Found, I think, I perfect gift.
– When we were a little more than a block from home a bird shat on Mike.
– IN HIS EAR THE BIRD SHIT IN HIS EAR!!!
– A moment later we realized that the bird didn’t hit just Mike.
– A bird shit on my kid’s eye ON HER EYE!!!!
– We sprinted home the last block.
– Horrified.
– No bird shit on me.
– K dissolved into tears over the bird shit atrocity and we had to scrub her face in the bath 17,000 times.
– Luckily Mike was able to shower and wash his ear out on his own.
– We had to alter our glorious walking around plans because we realized it was 3 PM
– So we took the car over to the Columbia outlet to look for a fleece for me.
– They only had very large fleeces that totally didn’t fit
– I got NEW SHOES
– It’s the first time I’ve purchased shoes based on utility and comfort in many many years.
– They are ugly.
– They’re probably the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned.
– Really ugly.
– But not nearly as ugly as a bird shitting on my family.
CamiKaos 
Aw, man. That IS good, bad, and ugly.
(Re: the shoes. Sometimes when I am wearing ugly, but comfy, shoes it helps to remind myself that my feet have no eyes and don’t care what they look like.)
You bought new shoes? Based on comfort? But you think they’re ugly?
Admit it… you gave in and bought crocs, didn’t you?
you know they say that if a bird shits on you you will be coming into some money. Of course I had a seagull empty the contents of its uuuum eeeer on my head as I was walking into school senior year and am still waiting to see the money!!
I have always wished for the chance to write “shat” – awesome!
And it’s supposed to be good luck. For people who like bird poo, I guess.
Also, please post pics of these ugly shoes.
in the ear? wow.
I will never forget the time I was at Knott’s Berry Farm and a bird crapped on my cousin. Memories…
I’m glad everyone is okay.
This may be my favorite of your posts so far.
The imagery is excellent.
(“- IN HIS EAR THE BIRD SHIT IN HIS EAR!!!”)
Did you spot @ahockley in that episode of Star Trek? I’m convinced he’s in it. Or at least the other version of him. That’s why he bought a Mac.
sorry about the birds and ugly shoes and all. but yanno, did ya ever think that if your names weren’t “kaos” you wouldn’t have to live up to such events in your life so often? reminds me of a “kids in the hall sketch”: “you know, mr. district attorney, just because your name is mr. district attorney, mr. district attorney, doesn’t mean you have to be a district attorney!”
a side note on the shoes: Mike says they’re actually quite fashionable in a Portland girl sort of way… So when I say they’re ugly what I mean is they look very comfortable and I am not wearing boots or high heels.
“Luckily Mike was able to shower and wash his ear out on his own”
You have a keeper there, a man who can wash himself ;)
-Stu
I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying. I’m sorry a bird shit on your husband and kid on Mother’s Day!
Ooer… bird shit makes me want to gag I swear!
i’m sorry i laughed my ass off about the bird poo..
Pictures of said comfy shoes?