Oh hell babies, there is a huge disturbance in the force here at the house of Kaos.
Did you guys know I used to be a barista? I was. I used to make people coffee… espresso… tea… variations there of. When I first started I drank a lot of espresso. A LOT.
I’ve never been a coffee drinker, you know like just coffee. The stuff you brew and then you just drink it from a coffee mug. Maybe with a little milk or sugar. I don’t like that stuff. I used to try to drink it in high school when I was doing backstage work in theater but I put ice cream in it before I drank it so I don’t think it counts.
But then I met espresso in the form of mochas and shots of espresso. We were really close espresso and I. It was a good relationship because I was like, 21, and I went out drinking every night and then was super exhausted when I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep and had to give coffee to very sleepy grumpy people.
I loved espresso then. LOVED IT. But after a while it started to hurt my delicate little tummy so I switched to chai. Chai, for the record, can do lovely caffeine things for you.
It can hop you right up.
But not like espresso can.
Lately the strongest caffeinated beverage I drink is iced tea. I love tea. It’s lovely and fresh and what have you. But today my beautiful iced tea, it wasn’t enough. I barely got any sleep at all last night. I was in my bed, laying down, eyes closed, sheets above and below me.
My bed? It is super comfortable.
But still sleep would not come to me until… 5ish. I woke up at 8ish with a bouncy 7 year old and try as I might I never managed to fall back asleep. I tried for 2 hours to nap but no dice.
Then 4PM rolled around. It hit me like 10 pounds of sand from a disgruntled sandman. I was dragging. I was tired. Tea wasn’t cutting it.
So I did what anyone would do, I took my kid down to the gelato shop and got a 16 oz espresso laden nonfat mocha. So maybe that’s not what everyone would do, it’s totally not what I would normally do but it seemed like a really good idea 30 minutes ago or so when I did it.
No longer any risk of me falling asleep… until I come down from this SUPER TALL caffeine high.
tap tap tap
pop pop pop
snap snap snap
clap clap clap.
Yep… I’m awake now, but totally and completely useless.