Oh hell babies, there is a huge disturbance in the force here at the house of Kaos.

Did you guys know I used to be a barista?  I was.  I used to make people coffee… espresso… tea… variations there of. When I first started I drank a lot of espresso.  A LOT.

I’ve never been a coffee drinker, you know like just coffee.  The stuff you brew and then you just drink it from a coffee mug.  Maybe with a little milk or sugar.  I don’t like that stuff.  I used to try to drink it in high school when I was doing backstage work in theater but I put ice cream in it before I drank it so I don’t think it counts.

But then I met espresso in the form of mochas and shots of espresso.  We were really close espresso and I.  It was a good relationship because I was like, 21, and I went out drinking every night and then was super exhausted when I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep and had to give coffee to very sleepy grumpy people.

I loved espresso then.  LOVED IT.  But after a while it started to hurt my delicate little tummy so I switched to chai.  Chai, for the record, can do lovely caffeine things for you.

It can hop you right up.

But not like espresso can.

Lately the strongest caffeinated beverage I drink is iced tea.  I love tea.  It’s lovely and fresh and what have you.  But today my beautiful iced tea, it wasn’t enough.  I barely got any sleep at all last night.  I was in my bed, laying down, eyes closed, sheets above and below me.

My bed?  It is super comfortable.

But still sleep would not come to me until… 5ish.  I woke up at 8ish with a bouncy 7 year old and try as I might I never managed to fall back asleep.  I tried for 2 hours to nap but no dice.

Then 4PM rolled around.  It hit me like 10 pounds of sand from a disgruntled sandman.  I was dragging.  I was tired.  Tea wasn’t cutting it.

So I did what anyone would do, I took my kid down to the gelato shop and got a 16 oz espresso laden nonfat mocha.  So maybe that’s not what everyone would do, it’s totally not what I would normally do but it seemed like a really good idea 30 minutes ago or so when I did it.

No longer any risk of me falling asleep… until I come down from this SUPER TALL caffeine high.

tap tap tap

click click

pop pop pop

snap snap snap

clap clap clap.

Yep… I’m awake now, but totally and completely useless.