Are you all ready for this? We’re going to have a pity party!!!
This is going to be so much fun… but wait, where is the guest of honor?
Oh, there he is…. Mr. Fabulous?
Mr. Fab, would you like to say a few words to the nice readers or shall I tell them?
Umm, okay so it is kind of difficult for him to continue, he’s hurting. He’s in a lot of pain about this guys so lets try to be respectful of his feelings about this whole Blogger’s Choice Awards thing.
You see he was nominated for Best Humor Blog but he isn’t winning. It’s not like he only has 2 votes or something, he has a few votes. A few people seem to think he’s funny. I mean I think he’s funny, and it can’t have anything to do with the fact that he has all new readers brainwashed… he just does that for our benefit. My mind was pretty unclean, I think that whole brainwashing, it’s just a service he performs, right?
So like I was saying, he’s funny… but apparently someone thinks some other people are funnier…. and it’s making him pretty sad.
Look at him, alone in that corner guzzling food coloring just to see what color his human waste will be later on… That is the act of a hopeless man…
Give him some hope. Take that food coloring bottle from his hand and vote for Mr. Fab.
Did you vote yet? Come on, just do it. And when you’re done, ask your mom and dad to vote too. And your aunt and uncle and brother and sister, oh, you’re an only child you say? Get your friends to vote and your co-workers and that guy down the street that talks to himself… vote for Mr. Fab.
Maybe if you do you can help him kick that nasty food coloring habit and Mrs. Fab won’t have to worry so much about what her husband is doing in the kitchen first thing in the morning.
Oh, and just because you don’t think he’s funny doesn’t mean you can’t vote for him, remember, this is a pity party after all.