quest for questions…

Questions. I could have some for you. Some specially designed just for you, you, you, you and you.

Would you like me to ask you 5 fabulous questions? Read on and find out how… oh and if you’ve been following this blog for a while… no you aren’t suffering from dejavu… we’ve done this once before months and months ago with a different questioner… but I liked it so much I am doing it again.

This time it starts over at The Holmes where he participated in the Interview Meme. As far as memes go it is a favorite of mine because it is interactive between you (or rather me) and another blogger (him, or rather me, or I guess you if you want). I loves me some interaction as long as no one is looking directly at me or touching me in anyway shape or form, or licking their fingers and then putting them in the snack bowl.


Got that? Of course not, I am a crazy person this week.

Never the less here we go, I asked Mr. Holmes to ask me 5 questions and he responded in amazing time with the following 5 gems… enjoy:

1. Your band has one album left on your contract to your record label. You’re in a hurry to get it done so you can focus on your burgeoning acting career, so you decide to do an album of covers. What songs do you bring to the band meeting and why?

First one right out of my mouth is Whatever Lola Wants (It is my go to song for shower singing. If you have never heard it run out right now and listen to it). Then we move on down to Fever (yes it has been recorded 6,578, 987 times including once by me but it is a damn classic for a reason people it is sultry sex in song form no?) Next I would like to tackle The Piano Has Been Drinking it is perfection in song form, of course my fictional band and I would totally cock it up but still, how awesome would it be to sing ANYTHING by Tom Waits. Is that enough? Is my band chomping at the bit for more?

2. It appears that you have some tattoos. Tell us the story behind one or two of your favorites.

It does appear to most people that I have tattoos and I often find myself wondering how they ever even notice. It isn’t like they are large and black covering a good portion of my torso or anything… wait a minute, oh… I’ve just been told that they are in fact large and black and covering a good portion of my torso. Well then, lets tackle your actual question, the story behind one or two of my favorites… I think I’ll go with my back tattoo because it actually has quite a bit of significance as a bridge in my life, although I didn’t know it at the time it was started.

Though I have posted a photo of it here before I’ll toss one up right now for those of you who don’t know me, haven’t seen me naked, or were unaware that I had these things known as tattoos.


If you look at it you will notice that there are clearly 2 tones of black in it. The part along the sides is much… well blacker for lack of a better word. It is much newer than the bit along the center and covering my shoulders blades. Someday I may have that remedied by having the amazing artist that did the work go over the older section but I have a whole new piece I want done before I go there. It is actually designed and perfect and ready for me, unfortunately I got the flu the day I had the appointment to get it and had to cancel and have not yet had the chance to reschedule. And that was 5 months ago. I need to be less busy… but to the story.

When I was 22 years old I had been getting tattooed for only 3 years but had already managed to accumulate a significant (to me) number of tattoos I decided it was time to move onto something bigger and more significant (size wise). It seemed the only place I could cause enough pain and get enough ink to fill that void was on my back. So I asked Jesse (the tattoo artist) to come up with something that would fit. That would work. Well above you see what he came up with. In October or November of the 1999 I had the outline of the center and shoulder blades portion put onto my back. Then the holidays happened. lots of drinking and smoking and coffee shop hanging out at. Parties and boys and craziness. New Years 2000. More drinking and hanging out… Then in March just before my 23rd birthday, 1 week to the day before my birthday actually I met Mr. Kaos. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he was the manboy for me and I stuck around and fell hard. I became a little preoccupied with happiness and found my need to lay still for hours at a time while someone drove pigment into my flesh was not as strong…. I wanted my tattoo finished but I also wanted to go to parties with Mr. Kaos. Go to the beach with Mr. Kaos. Have lovely dinners with Mr. Kaos. And within a couple of months of our meeting stay home in the evenings and watch PBS and drink wine and snuggle with Mr. Kaos.


By November of 2000 though, I realized I needed to get my back tattoo filled in so I did. I also quit smoking that month. I thought it would be only a few months, a year at the most before I would go in and have the side pieces tattooed but I got lost in that haze of Mr. Kaos love and time zipped by. When I was finally ready to get the tattoo finished the artist had disappeared off the Portland map. I heard mixed rumors of where he had gone and why but the one constant was that I couldn’t find him in Portland. So I thought, eh, I will find him later and on with life I went… On with life so much that I got pregnant with what is now the living breathing little 5 year old K.


Then “family” and having one was so so important and any thought of finishing my tattoo took a back seat because I decided that I wanted another child and I would hate HATE to have a beautiful tattoo marred by the inevitable stretch marks that a 2nd pregnancy would bring (are you all actually still reading because this is a long long long story).

When K was 2 and I was ready to have another kid we also found a new house and moved. Around that time I lost the battle I was fighting to control my dangerously high blood pressure through diet and exercise and was put on blood pressure medication. Shortly after an abnormality was found during a routine exam. I could not get pregnant until that was dealt with. I could not get pregnant on my blood pressure medication and I was also informed that the strain put on my body from my pregnancy with K had done some lasting damage.

A year later I underwent minor surgery to deal with the “abnormality”. By minor surgery I mean I went into the hospital was stuck in one of those flippy flappy ass gowns put on a gurney wheeled into the room where they knock your ass fully unconscious, wheeled into surgery and then woke up some unspecified time later from what seemed like death with the sorest throat I had ever had (from a tube shoved down it to help me breath) and crying for my husband and a big glass of water. They gave me ice and told me I could see my husband soon. That sucked.

More time went by, I wanted a child but after several appointments with varied doctors it became apparent that a 2nd pregnancy would more likely end in tears and heartache than with a bouncing beautiful new baby. It was hard to swallow.

After time and some insanity I accepted that I was not meant to bare another child and as a sort of medicine for all that ailed me I decided to be the best damn mother I possibly could to the brilliant, beautiful, funny little one that I had.

And to be the best wife I could ever be to the most amazing man I had ever known.

I picked myself up and started writing again for the first time since I was 22. And I was happy.

And then I heard the tattoo artist was back in town and opening a shop and I decided the time was right to finish what I started. So I laid on a table for hours at a time having pigment forced into the skin over my ribs and back and it was all I could do not to cry, not because it was much more painful than I had remembered but because I knew I had finally dealt with the fact that I wasn’t going to be having another child.

Now that I’ve said all that lets move on…

3. What did a cat ever do for anybody? I mean really?

My cats have done alot really, We got the first cat because our 75 year old house had a mouse problem and no matter how many traps we laid down we couldn’t seem to get them all… we thought a cat might be the perfect remedy and he was. He drove those little fuckers out. He even ate one whole once. It was gruesome. I saw him do it. Our second cat is just really nice to me. Though he whines alot. He catches bugs and eats them though…

4. Who is your favorite local celebrity there in Portland?

My favorite local celebrity… Hm. My favorite Portland celebrity? Um… Uh. Well there is…. I will avoid any smart ass routes… I could go there. I could pull some minor Portland Celebs out of my hat but instead I will go with someone I loved even as a child: Beverly Cleary

Oh what the hell, my favorite minor Portland celebrity is the entire band Tokyo. Tokyo was an 80’s hair band featuring a good friend of ours as the lead singer, another friend on guitar, a revolving bass player and my lovely dazzling Mr. Kaos on drums… Wanna see a video?? You do don’t you… Yeah, you know you want to see them in all their hairband glory… (on a personal note John if you read this I’m. SO. Sorry.)

5. What song or songs give you chills every time you hear them?

Picture in a Frame
by Tom Waits.
Time After Time (especially performed by Tuck and Patti)
Dance While the Sky Crashes Down by Jason Webley
Bless His Ever Loving Heart by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Grinning in your Face by
Son House
He Still Sees Her Younger by
Craig Carothers
A song Mr. Kaos wrote for me that we played at our wedding

I could go on for a very long time here so I will stop at that. For someone as musically untalented as I am music has had a most profound effect on my life. I hope it has as much sway in my daughter’s life.

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview Me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

21 thoughts on “quest for questions…

  1. The Holmes says:

    Cool, that was fun. 1. I love muttering along with “The Piano Has Been Drinking”, good choice.2. Amazing story, thank you for sharing it. 3. Good answer. I forgot cats actually catch things when they wanna.4. I only asked this one because I happened to look up and see a Chuck Palahniuk book sitting on the bookshelf and wondered who else famous lived there.5. Again, another of my favorite Tom Waits songs.

  2. Bubblewench says:

    Are we really doing this again? I’ll do it only if I like the questions… mmmmmwwwhhhhaaaaahaaaaahaaaa

  3. CamiKaos says:

    Holmes: They were GREAT questions I had a ball answering them.BW: No dice. I will only ask questions if I know they will be answered… So you can give me a guarantee of answership… or you can wait to see if someone else you read takes the bait and ask for questions form them. nya nya nya nya nya.

  4. thordora says:

    Me! Me! You’re the first person with interesting enough answers (and a love for Nick Cave!)to do this.It’s funny-the last piece I had done, I started crying a bit, and the dude thought I was whimping out. I was crying because the piece was for my mother, and I was crying out some of the last little bits of my sorrow.

  5. landismom says:

    Wow, I had no idea about your 2nd child backstory (back story, didn’t mean to pun). That’s pretty incredible.And ooh, ooh, interview me!

  6. CamiKaos says:

    Landismom: I love a good pun… I don’t know why but I do. Thordora: Oh for the love of Nick Cave… And it is amazing why you cry in a tattoo shop… it never is from the physcial pain.Mielikki: I’m gonna throw some messed up questions your way lady… and BW has kindly agreed to be questioned by you instead.Julie: Thank you…All: I will try to have questions out in the next week. I want to think of some good ones specific to each of you. I’m still willing to question more of you so for the time being keep on asking…

  7. Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas says:

    Interview me!Your tattoo story really tugged at my heartstrings. I’ve actually volunteered to be a surrogate for two of my friends that cannot have any or more children. It’s something that breaks my heart. And, I love a good tattoo! I have a whole back piece planned out, but I’ll probably chicken out on it.

  8. Amira says:

    Hey, CamiKaos. Short-time reader, first-time commenter (on your blog, that is).First, liked the tattoo story.Second, like reading a blog by someone from my stomping grounds from my 20’s (i.e., Portland).Third, I got award the Rockin’ Girl Blogger awhile back by Julie at PPP, but I can’t find the javascript to copy and post on my blog (memoirsofasinglemom.blogspot.com). A little help here?Thanx.

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