derailed…

Some days don’t really go the way you expect them to and despite our best efforts things get derailed.  It happens with weeks, months, years and lifetimes too.

It also happens with blog posts.  Today was such a day in the land of Cami-blogging.  I was writing a lovely post entitled “prints”.  It’s a memory I have from my trip to the airport a few weeks back.  Something I couldn’t shake, that I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I got a few paragraphs in when suddenly my day took a turn in a different direction.  I no longer felt like I could do that memory justice.  All of the words I wished to lay down upon the screen echoed back hollow and unsatisfying.

After spending a good portion of my morning trying to decide what to write about I was none too pleased to find myself stopped, thwarted, derailed.

I got up and paced about.  Scratched my chin in a very thoughtful way.  Hmmmmm…. I thought to myself.  And when that did no good I decided that I would just pound these here keys and think about what it is that causes such a dynamic shift in thinking from one moment to another.  Sometimes it can be as tiny as a smile, a laugh or a nice glass of tea.  A phone call, an email or watching a neighbor walk past with their puppy.  Sometimes it’s something large and catastrophic.  Seriously.  I think the end of the world could totally impact my writing.

Sometimes though it’s just that the day has a change of pace and we have to adjust.  Correct.  Modify our thinking.  And sometimes, stop doing what we’re doing and move on to something else.

Hm…  I think I’ll go brush my long luxurious hair.  Or something.

a technicality…

It’s not yet midnight here on the West-coast.  It’s not even close to midnight actually.  Prime time TV is still on.  At least I think it is… they still call it prime time don’t they? Hell I don’t know.  I don’t watch TV, I have internets.

Whatever.  That’s neither here nor there.  What is both here and there though is that for the first time in months… maybe even this year… I could actually post every day this week.  You know.  The weekday days.  The ones not at the beginning and the end that don’t start with “S” though they do end in “day”?

Those days?

The 5 consecutive ones we have every week?

Those ones, yes!

If I post this post today (which I am totally doing) then yeah.  I’ll have posted all those days.

Make sense?

So in honor of that I am going to post this list which includes a few, but not all, of the things I did today instead of writing a post.

Played dolls
Sent email
Read several chapters of a book. Aloud
Scrubbed the inside of a refrigerator
Scrubbed the outside of a refrigerator
Ate lunch
Skipped breakfast
Yes that does too count as something I did
Installed software
Was a pin cushion for my cats
Used a chisel and hammer to “defrost” a freezer
Yes that is too the way you do it when it’s practically stuck shut
Made Nachos
Noted that Ray Liotta’s career is headed down hill
Chewed gum

Riveting isn’t it?  Yeah.  Whatever.  It still counts as a post.

nothing like a meta post to save your ass…

As I sat here thinking, contemplating, reasoning, mulling over what it is I wanted to write about it occurred to me that none of the things I could write about were things that I could write about.  Further mental examination caused me to ponder what it is that I should be writing about.  Not just today but on any given day.

It was a real think, think, think kind of moment and while I’m not quite ready to lean against a tree stump and dip my paw into the honey jar, I am ready to figure some stuff out.  To get back into the swing of things.

I used to blog every day.  Yes.  Every. Day.  Even those two days at the beginning and end of the week that start with an “S” and end in a “day”.  I couldn’t be prevented from posting.  I would write at night when things were quiet, or in the morning when I had a bit of time to myself and there was never a question of what to write.  Things just presented themselves.

But since taking a break from the daily, or lately even weekly blogging, it’s become incredibly clear that the thing that makes coming up with a topic for a blog post the most difficult is not blogging.

Yes.  You read that right.  If I don’t post for a while I suddenly have no idea what to write about.  No sense of blogging direction.  This here blog falls into disrepair and I have no idea where to start.  It’s a way of thinking that gets pushed aside when you’re not actively engaged in the act of writing.

Like when I was a teenager and I kept a diary.  I would write in it twice a day for weeks on end… but if I skipped a day or two I would stop for weeks.  That’s how it’s been with these pages for over a year.  If I have to post a few of these introspective blatherings to find my place?  If I have to get all meta on your asses and post about posting?  If that’s what it takes for me to get back on track then I guess that’s just what I have to do.

Either that or I could get back to my roots…

used to

I used to post every day, come rain or shine, good days and bad.  There was a time that I was incredibly committed to ensuring that something new was here every day.  It wasn’t a commitment to you.  To the internets.  To this blog.  It was a commitment to me.  To take some time, even if it’s just a moment, each day.  To think things through.  To find something to express.  To have structure.

That structure?  That system of checking in with myself?

Fallen.

I’m hoping to pick it back up.

because I am queen of this computer

I just made it through 100+ blog posts in my google reader.

So some of them were pictures of cats and I didn’t have to read more than a sentence…

And who cares if I just deleted a few after glancing at them and realizing how long they were…

So what if I only left a comment on one of them?

I still made it through a ton of posts including but not limited to: COOKIES of all kinds, an adorable little girl at a wedding being very tired, benches, shaved heads, blog destinations, cute cats, someone feeling poorly, Portland tech happenings, my own posts, purchased houses, Oscar parties, someone near turning 39, a movie review, a vibrator related injury, rainbows (one on a wall and one in the road), girl scouts, Muppets, super heroes and so many other things that if I try to recount them all I’m sure to go crazy trying to ensure I don’t leave anyone out.

I know I’ve been a big slacker in the blog world as of late (both writing and reading) but I feel like all that blog reading in such a short time totally makes up for it.  I now consider the blogosphere and I even.

For now.

more blogs than you can shake a stick at…

I’m going to save the grumblings on how I’ve been the victim of theft not just once, but twice already this year for another day, and instead talk about something wonderful.  Something glorious.  Something downright helpful that happened right here in the city I call my home.

Community.

Oh yes, I know I’ve said a thing or two about it in the past, I’ve sung the praises of the Portland tech community and the twittersphere… so try not to be surprised, but I’m going to do it again.

On Saturday Cube Space played host to an awesome event called End Bloglessness.  It was put on by the good people at Beer & Blog and was staffed by some wonderful volunteers, there are too many for me to name (especially since I didn’t make note of who all was there, sorry… my bad).  You may find yourself wondering what goes on at an event called “End Bloglessness”.  I bet you can’t guess.

They weren’t teaching children not to pick their noses in public (though humanity could certainly benefit from that).

They weren’t teaching people how to bake sough dough bread (though a friend brought me a sour dough starter that I may have already killed).

They weren’t training cats to fly tiny airplanes (and for that I’m thankful).

They were helping people set up and upgrade their blogs.  For free.  With beer.  That was free.

I headed over about an hour after the event started.  I didn’t go for the beer as I’m not much of a beer drinker and I already have a blog so you may be asking “Why?  Why did you go to End Bloglessness Cami?”

I went because I wondered if somehow I might be able to help someone and I was hoping that someone there would be able to help me implement a blog for Dr Normal within the pages of the Strange Love Live site.  Plus it was a Saturday and I had no other plans so I wanted to go and ogle some fellow geek girls.  It’s just something I like to do.

In one respect I think I was pretty much a failure.  I don’t recall helping anyone.  I showed someone where the kitchen was, forced a friend to eat dinner with me, ate some wonderful alienveggie bread and looked at semi naked pictures of the bread’s baker…  Those things may have been helpful in some regard but I don’t think I actually helped anyone with a blog.  But by not helping anyone, I’ve also ensured that I didn’t steer anyone in the wrong direction.

My other aims, setting up a blog page for Dr Normal off the Strange Love Live main page and checking out the geek girlies, let’s just say those went very well.

bloggy inservice day?

My daughter is home from school today for a teacher inservice day.

Do you know what this means?  It means I can turn off my alarm clock.  No alarm clock… as a matter of fact hold on a moment will you, I’m going to reach over and pick that little green wobbling clock up off my bedside table and turn the alarm off….

There…  did it.

I wonder how many of you actually believe I just did that.  Because I did.  I totally did. Not only did I reach over and turn off that alarm clock but I enjoyed it.  I reveled in it.

This is just my way of telling you I’m taking a bloggy inservice day today… be back on Monday with more mind dumbing Caminess…

***

Join us tonight at 10 PM for another live episode of Strange Love. On the next episode we’ll be joined by Steve Woodward, known to many of you as oregoniansteve.  I’ve only had the pleasure of meeting Steve once, so it will be a real treat to sit down and get to know him better on the show and find out what the future holds for him.

15 hours… my touchy feely post about WordCamPDX

I woke up at the completely indecent hour of 5:30 AM…

Okay that’s a lie, I was supposed to wake up at 5:30 but really I didn’t wake up til closer to 6 in the morning to drag my snoozey self out of bed. I’d been up all night (til 1, maybe 1:30) and I was tired. Exhausted. Without rest.

I wasn’t going to let a little exhaustion stop me though, there were big things on the horizon and I was going to be there. I rushed to get ready, made a breakfast snack for K (I had a feeling Dr. Normal would be sleeping in while Saturday morning cartoons were enjoyed by the 6 year old) and just after I put on some lipstick I saw Verso’s car pull up in front of my house. A quick hello and then I tossed my bag in her back seat and we were off.

Our destination? WordCamp Portland. We arrived shortly after 7 and the hustle and bustle of the day had already begun. There was no shortage of things to get done before 8 AM, luckily there also seemed to be enough volunteers to get the required tasks done…

And so the conference started and the insanity also began.

And by insanity I mean?  A really well composed gathering of 150+ people all coming together to talk about WordPress.

I was expecting anarchy.  Chaos.  A free for all… or maybe a touch of boredom but what I got was a good day with great people and an education on WordPress worth so much more than the $10 registration fee I paid.

More than anything else though, I saw clearly that Portland spirit at work yet again.  Not only were we there celebrating, educating and being educated on WordPress, we were helping each other.

Whether we’re talking about the organizers, the sponsors, the people who tackled tasks at the conference or the person sitting across the room that tweeted out an offer of help to anyone who needed it, the story was the same: A community coming together.  Everyone seemed to have something to give.

My only regret about word camp is now that I’m writing about it I sound like a fucking hippie…

Enough of this touchy feely stuff, tomorrow I’ll tell you what I learned.

shiny and new…

There’s nothing quite like a new header to make a girl feel extra sassy.  It may seem silly to you but new header days are like clean sheet day to the 100th degree.  It’s like having a great new bra & matching panties x20.

Like your first kiss with a lover.

Yeah, new header days are pretty fantastic… But a new header on a brand new blog?  I’m feeling a little tingly people.  So if you see me walking down the street today and I look a little distracted like my head is in the clouds and I’m smiling just a bit too much or I have that slightly mussed look a girl gets after she’s had a roll in the hay… cut me some slack.

I may be 31 years old with a mountain of responsibilities but I’m still a simple girl at heart and the blog change I’m making?  Like the title of the post says… Shiny and new.