You know those moments when you’re rushing around? You’re wearing high heels and you’ve been heading up the stairs and down the stairs. From room to room. Drinking coffee. Drinking water. Talking to people you’ve known for years. Gauging people you’ve just met. Checking the clock. Drinking coffee. Running into more people. Rushing down the stairs.

That’s when it occurred to me that I was full to the brim of coffee and water and probably the iced tea I’d had earlier that morning. And that there was a bathroom just at the base of the stairs that I had been running up and down. And I rushed in and opened the stall and sat down.

And I had that moment when I realized that someone had just done a big ol number 2 in there and I was hopeful that I could get out of there before someone came in and thought it was me.

I flushed. I pulled up my panties. Tugged down my dress. Turned the knob and stepped out of the stall. I stepped up to the sink and glanced up in the mirror to check my hair when I noticed a very masculine looking girl facing the wall in men’s cut jeans and a plaid shirt.

And. Yeah. Wait. Why is she standing against the wall. like. Oh…

It took me that long to realize I was in the Boys Bathroom. I decided to step down the hall to wash my hands in the girls room, fortunately another boy was coming into the bathroom at just that moment.

So fun, still using the wrong bathroom at 35. I had no hope as a kid.