talents…

We all have our own special talents.  Everyone is unique in some way and even though some of us may seem plain and ordinary and that special skill is hard to put your finger on, it’s there.  Sometimes though you would rather forget about it.

As I’m sure my mom, dad, brother and cousins could attest I learned one of my special talents at a very young age.  I have a horror movie scream that is hard to beat.  I can really shriek and scream and hold that volume and tone for an impressive amount of time.  Actually I have more than one scream.  Here is a sampling of the emotions I can convey most easily:

“You just surprised me but I am aware that you aren’t really going to kill me but I will scream until my heart starts again”

“Wow, for a moment there I really did think you were going to kill me… I’ll just scream until I’m about to pass out”

“You’re an axe murderer aren’t you?”

“Oh, my bad you’re a Zombie… don’t eat my brains, okay?”

“You fucking spider I don’t know where you came from but as soon as I regain my ability to reason I will recognize that I’m 10,000 times your size and I will smash you all to hell bitch!”

That last one, I just employed it.  I was sitting at the table sending out some emails when I saw something from the corner of my eye and I watched it’s odd decent to the table.  I realized then that it was an eight legged spider beast crawling along the top of my table right at me.  It then rushed me and would have fallen right into my lap if I hadn’t stood up so suddenly to get better use of my lungs for the huge scream that was echoing from me (the spider scream has an OOOOOOOh like quality to it instead of the shrieky Ahhhhhh screams that are person related).

Luckily it only managed to scramble along the floor for a few feet before I regained my senses and stomped on it a dozen times with my knee high oxblood doc martens (it’s a good thing I got them back from the shoe shop right?!).  I am still alive.  That spider is very very dead.  I’m really hoping that this is as close as my day gets to a scene from Arachnophobia… I can’t spend the day screaming… I need my voice for other things.

4 thoughts on “talents…

  1. gwalter says:

    There are two screams you left off this list – no, three. One, to the K – WTH are you doing?! Two, to the Dr. You SOB! And three, with the Dr. – I’ll let you guess. ;)

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