I may be the worst mother ever

There are times that being agnostic is a great thing… It’s allowed me to develop my own sense of morals and I totally get to sleep in on Sunday morning, but there are times I think having some religion would come in handy.

For instance as I sat at the rehearsal for my daughter’s grade school talent show.  If there’s a hell I imagine it would be something like that… everlasting torture.  Really seriously it never seemed to end.  It did at some point as evidenced by the fact that I’m writing this post at home (though I started it at the rehearsal). If I were religious I could have prayed like crazy and maybe that would have given me some comfort.  I’m more spiritual than anything though and it seemed to me that I wasn’t the only one in the room who’s soul was crying out in agony.  All those souls in pain leaves a mental mess to deal with.

And it was just the dress rehearsal.

The point is, when I started writing this I felt like I was a really bad mom for being SOOOO fricking miserable there but the longer the rehearsal went the more I realized that

A) My kid was DONE being there

B) All her friends wanted to go home

C) No one except a few of the older kids seemed very enthusiastic and that’s only because they seemed to be hooting, hollering and flirting with one another as only 5th graders can.

My guilt was largely assuaged by that point and it even helped to stave off some of my irritation at the questionable appropriateness of some of the music being used in the second half of the show.

SOME of my irritation.

Sadly all of these lovely realizations do absolutely nothing to change the fact that I volunteered to help keep an eye on the kids tomorrow during the school day performance.  That’s right.  It will be just them and me.  100ish crazy kids from k-5th grades… oh and the handful of other parents who are stupid enough to volunteer with me…  I wonder if any of them will pray for me?

4 thoughts on “I may be the worst mother ever

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