Last night Mr. Kaos decided to come home a little early. To make things a little easier on me. To bribe me with Chinese take out.
That bribe? Always welcome here.
Since K was under the weather she had no desire to watch us enjoy our savory meal. She actually asked us not to eat it in front of her. Was she being a bit over dramatic? Perhaps, but given earlier events I had no desire to test that theory so we let it go. She ate her dinner of yogurt and crackers and then tottered off to lay in my bed and watch Curious George on TiVo.
At last she was out of the room. At last I could open the paper bag and expose the little white take out cartons that would surely give me great comfort and nutritious value (since I carefully order more healthful items from a restaurant that offers healthier options than we might find elsewhere)
With the bag open I carefully withdrew:
1/2 order Fried Prawns (OK they aren’t healthy at all)
Chicken Fried Rice (but this is done in a really healthy manner)
Mu Shu Chicken (and this is not saucy, made of chicken breast and fresh veggies)
Curry Vegetables (oh come on that’s just plain goodness)
My mouth was watering. My stomach was rumbling. I opened each container in turn, untied the bag that held the pancakes, took the lid off the plum sauce and proceeded to eat a fried shrimp.
Oh beautiful bad for me fried shrimp, oh how I love you. You’re so good. You’re so tasty. You’re so fried.
We really try not to eat a lot of fried food… but a woman can not live on steamed carrots alone right?
Okay I never eat steamed carrots but that’s neither here nor there, the point is even though it isn’t good for me it’s OK for me to eat a few fried shrimp every once in a while.
So I took half of the Shrimp from the carton and passed them to Mr. Kaos who took 2 shrimp out and handed the carton back to me “You have the rest babe” he said.
I considered this briefly. I looked into the package. I lusted. I longed. Then I passed it back to him and said “No, I already took half of them, you take the rest I don’t need them”.
“WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO??? KILL ME?” he asked.
I also considered this briefly. I thought to myself does he know what he just said and then I waited for it…
“Except that you’re the one that has to take meds for high blood pressure” he realized out loud.
I nodded. I smiled. I took ONE more shrimp.
I think he’s trying to kill me… with kindness.