As I walk the aisles of the grocery store it remains hidden beneath a pile of fresh produce. Mushrooms, onions, oranges, lettuce, broccoli… they all lay atop it. They mask it’s presence with their beautiful colors…
I push on. Finding cheeses, whole grain breads, yogurt, healthy snacks…
At last it’s time to check out and I push my tiny shopping cart into the waiting area, careful to place my canvas bag on top of it so that the checker won’t accidentally use a paper or plastic bag on my purchase.
It’s safe there. beneath the produce, bread, cheese, yogurt and canvas bag. No one knows it’s there. My cheeks won’t flush pink, I won’t have to explain to K why I have it.
No one knows… except the checker who quickly whisks it away into the canvas bag when she sees what it is. She’s grown accustomed to me, I think. She knows my habits now… and while it means that someone knows my dark secret… knows what lurks at the bottom of my shopping cart… I can accept it. She’s complicit. I’m not alone in my odd crime against nature anymore… The shame is a little easier to bear when it’s shared with another…
With it hidden in the canvas bag we start our walk home and smile as tiny drops of rain kiss our faces. As soon as we’re in the house I put away the groceries careful to take it out of the bag when K’s back is turned… when she won’t be able to ask questions. Not knowing what else to do I stow it in the very back of our dark cabinet… and we go about our day.
We made it home in plenty of time after all…
In time for us to share a healthy snack. In time to get K’s homework done. In time to play and cuddle. In time to giver her a bath complete with a sudsy Elvis impression. In time to make a healthy meal.
Like a good responsible mama, one who isn’t hiding a dark secret.
But now… it’s the next day. She’s been up and at em… had her breakfast… gone off to school and I’m left home alone with it calling to me from the back of the cupboard.
It knows we’re alone.
It knows I can’t resist it.
cupcakes are sneaky little devils…
CamiKaos 
Oh my.Oh my, my, my…I had a random craving for one of those just two days ago. No one in this town sells themHelp.
Isn’t the plural of cheese…well, cheese?I love those little cupcakes, Martin thinks I’m nuts. So really nothing new. (The yellow ones are good too!)
Oh, you naughty gurrrrl…..Share!
drool….but my secret/addiction is ice cream…my stash is hidden behind the frozen mojitos!p.s. just started listening to your podcasts…what fun! Lilac is my girl!
Yes, quite literally, I’m her girl. And oooh…cupcakes, yummy. Although I tend to pig out on salty stuff like nuts and olives.
bahahahaha – I haven’t had one of those since I was a kid. used to love them. Don’t blame you for hiding them either!
Hostess is the devil.
I thought it was going to be ice cream! I’m not a big fan, sorry. I like the other chocolate thingies- I dunno what they’re called but i think they’re by the same company. 2 chocolate rectangles with the smooshy cream in the middle. mmmmmmmm drool slurp dribble
I was thinking, what could you get and the grocery store that could be so…naughty?
And just what will you do when she finds them?
Little Debbie Nutty Bars are a our totally not healthy ‘secret’ food. We call them “Little Debbie Fat Snacks”, but damn are they tasty.-Stu
I’m hungry.
I thought you were hiding a pregnancy test.
mwaaaaaaaaahhahahahahaaaaaa… that was so funny cami!
I won’t tell, but can I have some?
Jo: of course you can… I can shareangel: thank you dollbellevelma: nope. not at all.TIM: so am I… I should go start dinner.stu: oh little debbie, that vixen.daddykaos: it was just a two pack… they’re gone now… but I’d probably put her in time out for climbing on the counter… I’m mean that way.denise: now you know. completely artificial crap cupcakes.lindy: I think those are zingers.mr. Fab: Yeah… totally is. That’s why I have to hide it.bw: I don’t want my kid getting hooked on that craplilac: my real weakness is pork rinds.hotmamamia: I’m sooo glad you came by.kiki: Next time I’ll by the big box and start handing them out to bloggers when I see them.missb: have you ever looked up cheese in the dictionary? It is one of the most disgusting words… really… some of the definitions for it are nastyyyy. Which is to say… I don’t care what you think about my cheese plurals… but next time we hang out we should go get some cupcakes.Kimberly: You live in a very sad place to have no hostess.
Oh, you are so not alone. I currently have in my possession in the back of my ‘snack’ cupboard up where my little monster can’t find them and which will surely be gone before the hubby gets back home next week a package of Oreo’s. While walking down the cracker aisle I saw them before finding the saltines and I could not look away. Just could not.
Damn ding-dongs.Even with a name like that i’ll eat them.
Ha! A steak is what came to my mind. I think this great post would work as a predictor of what secret vice the reader desires. Maybe my iron is low?
they ARE sneaky. many people don’t know this but it was actually cupcakes that figured out the enigma code. they are sneaky little dudes. but now that they don’t have a world to save? they try to go to our thighs. my damned thighs.
MmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmHo-ho’s and Ding Dongs are good, too. Twinkies are good about once every 4 years.I LOVE secrets. :)