Last year around this time Mr. Kaos and I decided it would be best for all involved if we tossed the queen size bed in favor of something huge and monstrous that would barely fit through the door let alone be proportionate to our small 1929 bedroom…
After many days of searching we found a giant king platform bed with an even bigger headboard. I was in love. I had to have it. It was big dark wooden and solid. I was sold.
Even though it is ridiculously huge I think it fits… works… is happy even.
You may find yourself asking why 2 people as cuddly and lovey and sweet as Mr. Kaos and I are would want a bigger bed… why would we want to be so far apart? Does someone have cold feet? clammy hands? a snoring problem? trouble sharing the covers? flailing limbs? loud dreams? sleep mumbling? drool? excessive fur? stuffed animals?
Why yes someone has all of those things… and in my bed.
The problem was that even though it is ours (ours pertaining to Mr. Kaos and myself) we still have to share with the little ones. all 10 feet and 2 hands 6 ears and 3 heads worth of little ones.
At some point every night we can expect an invasion of monumental proportions… All 55 combined pounds of cats and kid come strolling stumbling or sneaking into our room up over me and into the bed. They each have their own area staked out and woe is us if we happen to be occupying the territory in our bed that the fuzzballs or K have claimed as their own.
Once K gets into her “area” of the bed she proceeds to spread out until anyone weighing over 40 pounds has only a tiny perch of bed… The cats (both of them) seem unaffected by her movement. The fat fuzzy cat tends to press himself up against mike’s feet so tightly you might think he’s trying to avoid falling rubble by hiding beneath them… and who knows… maybe he is. The Shiny whiny one sleeps in one of two places, on my side or in the curve of my knees. From his high perch on my ribcage he is sure to know if something is coming and from there he can easily slink into the protective bunker that is my knees where he’s sheltered from any oncoming storm…
Mike, I think, takes the brunt of the sleep punishment… why? Because unlike me he hasn’t set up his defenses and learned to sleep smart… Every night before I fall asleep I place a pillow right down the middle of the bed… did you ever build cushion castles when you were a kid?
It’s my fortress of solitude, if you have things climbing into your bed at night I recommend you get one to fortify your defenses…
This was originally posted February 27, 2007