Or rather she who comes painfully close to spilling things.
What kind of things?
Beans mostly. Not just any beans. The magic beans. Beans of knowledge. Di$neybean$.
This evening Mr. Kaos’ parents showed up to say hello and drop off a little gift for K, some spending money of her very own for when she is in “california” (that’s what we’re using as code for di$ney).
She was thrilled. And she was packing. Thrilled and packing. She had money. HAPPY MONEY. THANK YOU FOR THE MONEY!!!! And then she went back to packing.
But as she is 5 years old her idea of packing for “california” is different than mine. She couldn’t care less about the clothes she needs to cover her nakedness. It is california… lets all be nude…
No. I don’t think so.
But yes, she wants to pack the toys, her broken compass, the milk bottle for her wretched evil panda bear (that makes sucking noises and burping noises and this awful crying noise) and her stethoscope and her flower pillow wallet and her extra hair brush and her play blow dryer and curling iron and her sun catchers, ring game, card game, play baby powder, unicorn, baby doll, polly pockets, the list goes on and on really. So while I was saying thank you to his parents she was shoving more toys in the suitcase and I said….
oh boy, what I said…
K, you need to listen, see this money? It can buy a lot of toys in Disneyland, but only if you….
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OHMYHELLINAHANDBASKETWHATDIDISAY!!!
don’t pack a lot of toys to take with us.
K looked at me funny, said huh?
To which I replied
When we go to California you will need room in the suitcase for new toys. If we bring all these toys we won’t have room to bring any back. From California.
She said okay
And then I almost fainted from relief that she did not realize I told her we were taking her to that happy happy place where fairies pee gold and princesses wander around blowing kisses…
But when we tell her I have a feeling it will all click and she will realize all the little errors we have made that should have given us away…
And she will see us for the liars that we are and most probably choose that moment to ask if the Easter Bunny is real… and what about Santa for that matter.
Not only did I almost spill the beans, I may have opened up a can of worms to join them…