just right? too tight…

Of all the things I could talk about today, the war, my family, school getting out, the slow motion bathroom remodel, K’s crying jags, my kitchen, family illnesses, my cats (Mr. Kaos says I should post more pictures of my cats, what is that all about?) the fact that my jeans are just a little too snug lately, the blue jays dive bombing my veggie garden, I’m going to talk about my hair.

That’s right, my fricken hair. Deal with it or move along.

I cut it. Well I didn’t cut it, my hair stylist (who has been doing my hair for about 7 years) did. I asked her too. In fact I paid her to do it. She did exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I asked for.

I think I’m displeased. Not with her. With me.

When too much is going on in my life I get a hair cut. Don’t know why. It’s always been that way. or I dye it. It’s black, I like it that way. The color isn’t going anywhere.

So I had it cut.

It was already short mind you. Now it is shortER.

I like short hair I really do.

But suddenly I feel like a 30something minivan driving dud. Which is odd since I am exactly 30 and do not drive and have no ill feelings about women in their 30’s that drive mini vans. I know many 30something mini van driving hotties.

Maybe it’s that I feel the hottie part falling off.

Come to think of it maybe I will talk about my pants being a little too tight…

Just so we’re clear I am not looking for any of you to say “but Camikaos, you are sooo beautiful and hawt. we love you. your hair is amazing OOOOHHH AHHHHHH”. I’m not fishing for a compliment I’m just talking.

I’m becoming more reflective and less… bouncy? I don’t know that I would normally describe myself as bouncy, but less bouncy I am. Less bouncy than before. I was bouncy once. Looking back I was bouncy enough that if the now me met the then me I would probably smack the then me so hard the now me would still have a bruise.

I was bouncy.

I deserved to be bouncy though, I went through some hard times with me, myself and I. Some general unhappiness, some pretty tough depression that I wouldn’t let anyone help me with… Somehow I pulled that all out of my ass and flushed it away and I was one day okay. Thus the bouncing.

I’m not depressed. I’m not unhappy. I am a little… anxiety ridden… but I am happy being me.

Until my pants got too tight and I chopped off all my damn hair… Maybe I should cut back on the cherry coke and fancy cheeses…

and hair grows back right?

14 thoughts on “just right? too tight…

  1. landismom says:

    I know that feeling too well, both the wanting to change something, and the not being satisfied once the change is made. FWIW, it looks cute and not minivan-y at all, even though I know you’re not fishing for compliments.

  2. tarable says:

    I think that it takes bravery and courage to rock the short hair. I’ve been flirting with the thought of bangs for a while and just can’t commit. My hair is long, straight and boring, but I feel better knowing I can live vicariously through your hot new haircut.

  3. Lindyloo says:

    Soo I really want to say ‘daaaaayum! you look good and I loooves the hair’ but you don’t want any compliments so I’ll say ‘ daaaayum you look like a bag of shit’. That way the comments will equal themselves out. Kidding aside the hair does look good and the shock of cutting it will wear off and you look at yourself in the mirror and say ‘daaaaaayum! I look hawt!’

  4. Lindyloo says:

    eeer should be comments will CANCEL themselves out not equal- It’s after midnight here so cut me some slack!

  5. Daveman says:

    To Mr Koas I say..”Wow! Kaptain Kaos! You are one extremely lucky dude!” To you I say.. “See the above and while short hair looks okay – I personally like the Godiva look”.

  6. Mel says:

    Oh, my god, and I don’t care if you hate that I’m saying it, I LOVE THAT HAIRCUT.I am super fucking jealous. I LOVE THAT CUT. I WANT that cut. And it looks damn good on you. Give it a day or two and you too will see that it is a good look for you. And not a whiff of minivan about it, either.My SIL, bless her heart, has the minivan cut. You, you do not.I am jealous!!!!!!!

  7. CamiKaos says:

    OTJ: Thank youLandismom: I’m glad I’m not the only one that does the crazy change thing.Tarable: I’ve seen your pic, you’d look cute with bangs!LL: Daaaaayum… Thank you (and if I’ll get used to it I don’t know but atleast Mr. Kaos thinks it’s sexy)LL: Oh and I love that you have the time on your website. One of my best friends lives in England and I always think “Hmm I wonder what time is is where Martin is” you provide me with quick and easy reference. haha.Daveman: Thanks, or rather I am pretty sure Mr. Kaos says thanksMel: Damn you did a good job cheering me up. Sometimes you just need someone to use the word “fucking” and it makes things so much more okay. And yeah, I was totally worried it was the minivan cut so THANKYOU :)

  8. Martin Declan Kelly says:

    the haircut does not say minivanthe haircut says harajuku crossed with camden and a little abney parkthe haircut makes my camera itchhey. did i tell you i got a new camera?i got a new cameraxoxm

  9. Bubblewench says:

    M got a new camera that wants to take pictures of your rockin mama hair…. I cut 13″ of mine off and hate it too, but EVERYONE I know tells me how great it looks… so I just listen to them instead of evil mirror voice. BANISH EVIL MIRROR VOICE! You totally crack me up.

  10. sybil law says:

    you already know what i think of the hair, and it stands that of COURSE it looks good! i know what you mean, though. all women i know personally go out and get a new hairstyle to feel better about ourselves when there’s too much going on. just keep showing cleavage and you’ll be hot and bouncy again! haha

  11. Mom says:

    The hair is cute and looks like a “YOU” kind of haircut. She did a good job. But at least you can be mad at her and not me,like in the day when I cut your hair, the way yhou wanted it exactly.

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