almost 5 years…

*Disclaimer… Mr Kaos suggested because some of the content in this post is Kaotic upsetting and gross you may not want to read this. It is an edited version of the story of K’s birth*

It was late on a Tuesday night as Mike & I lay nestled together on the small hospital couch in our delivery suite knowing things would be so different so soon… We’d already been in the hospital for two days, going in and coming out of labor and though my doctor was quite clear on the fact that K needed to come out K didn’t seem to be in a particular hurry.

Maybe she knew that she was being strong armed out of the womb 3 weeks early but wasn’t quite sophisticated enough to understand that my body was not a pleasant atmosphere to live in. After months of poking prodding puking sleeping weight loss weight gain more puking talking talking talking and planning it was time to get the hell out of there. Evicted. Vamoose little baby.

But as we lay there knowing the entire world was about to be turned on its ear we had a sense of calm for the first time in weeks. Before we nodded off for a few hours of sleep and my contractions started again in earnest Mike held the camera up and took a picture. It was the last picture of us the way we were.

The next morning my induced labor finally took, I started throwing up readily, I was in agony with the contractions coming in waves I couldn’t anticipate, the nurses had trouble monitoring the contractions because of my size (I had gained very little weight through out my months of pregnancy due to extreme “morning sickness”). My friend who had been visiting regularly since we were admitted didn’t come, 1600 miles away my mom and dad held their breath hoping that everything would turn out okay and across town Mike’s parents waited anxiously to be allowed to visit.

As the day rolled on and the birth came closer and closer my doctor called for my epidural. As much as I hate needles just the thought of some relief was enough to make me praise whoever invented the medical marvel I had heard epidurals were. Sadly once it was administered and did nothing but numb me from naval to breast I realized that very little was going to go right that day.

Evening rolled in and my contractions started to take hold. My doctor stayed in the room and there were extra nurses milling about. When it was finally time to push I decided that K was in trouble and went mad. I was determined to get her out with each and every push. By the time my doctor had located herself at the end of my bed I was naked and alternating screaming obscenities and promising god (if there was one) that if woman kind has some how done something to offend him we had made great strides and he should reconsider his torture stance… At this time, shortly before 6 PM on a Wednesday our room was full. Mike stayed close by my side holding my hand or practically dislocating my hip by helping a nurse to pull my legs back. Our huge room seemed small as it filled up with 4 nurses and 2 doctors, a warming bassinet and medical supplies and carts I could never hope to identify.

Finally, after 3 days of labor but only 45 minutes of pushing K made her debut. Her amazing, tiny beautiful debut with her cord wrapped around her perfect little neck… Like I said, very little was going right that day.

Her delivery had already been bloodier than any of those they show you in birthing class but my doctor being the amazing woman that she was had simply put on one extra gown after another, this new challenge of the cord neck issue was nothing new to her. She quickly whipped the cord off. No blue baby, perfect baby… so what was the face she and the nurses were making? She quickly handed K off to the pediatrician who had been called in in case something went wrong and we were assured she was in great shape and bigger than they had anticipated… but there was a problem… with me.

When Dr. C removed the cord from our newborn’s neck there was an extra splatter of blood over everything and I hadn’t had time to put things together… The umbilical cord kind of… popped. If you don’t know much about the whole nifty process of giving birth the seriousness of this may not occur to you… but you need that cord. Not to bank its blood, to guide the placenta out…

The anesthesiologist who’d done such a stellar job with my epidural was no where to be found so within minutes I found my self with a horse needle full of Demerol in my leg to keep the pain at bay and try to keep me from going into shock as my doctor did the only thing she could do to keep from having to perform a c-section for a placenta. She reached her tiny doctor hands up inside my body, grabbed hold of that placenta and pulled it out.

I’ll give you a moment to shake that off… I’m taking one too…

After that things were pretty okay. I couldn’t feel much pain so the only thing that bothered me was that I hadn’t yet held my perfect little bundle of fingers and toes and big beautiful eyes… The doctors had both held her, it was their job after all, a nurse I suddenly didn’t like held her briefly and cooed at her as she lifted her off the warming pad to hand her to Mike… as he walked over to me with our little girl I glared across the room at the nurse who’d held K before I ever got the chance… my resentment was taken away as Mike laid K in my half stoned arms and I gazed at what had ripped a bloody path out of my body.

Of course, she was perfect.

6 thoughts on “almost 5 years…

  1. mielikki says:

    aaah the joys of birth. That is why I am not a Labor and Delivery nurse, nor a doctor. But, look what you got out of the deal! K is very perfect. I hope she has a happy birthday

  2. sybil law says:

    Man – my birthing process was really, really uneventful compared to yours! But 5 years later… man… time really does fly. What a bittersweet day coming up! But what a beautiful, beautiful girl! When they start kindergarten we will have to IM all day and whine to each other… WAH. :)

  3. dragonfly183 says:

    OMG!!!! Thank-you goddess for blessing with with a Bio Mom who couldn’t handle herself and sparing me from ever having to go through anything like that, yes, thank-you!!!!!

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