Unmasking Is Weird For most of my life, I’ve felt fake.Not dishonest. Not deceptive. Just… performed. Like every interaction came with a script I didn’t write but had to memorize to survive. Smile here. Ask that. Tilt your head just so. Don’t talk too much. Don’t talk too little. Don’t stim. Don’t fidget. Don’t correct … Continue reading be yourself, but not like that…
Tag: writing
Blanket Statement
(It's Not a Security Blanket. It’s a Lifestyle Choice.) When I was a kid, I had the blanket. You know the one. Threadbare but beloved. Always slightly damp at one corner. Soft in a way nothing else on earth quite managed to be. I dragged it everywhere—across tile floors, into the back seat of the … Continue reading Blanket Statement
my history of understanding friendship — act II: the third thing
On masks, maybe-friends, and the quiet exhaustion of trying too hard for too long. I used to think friendship was binary. That story—the one about flower bracelets and a life-sized doll—was where I started. It set the tone, the standard, the shape of what I thought friendship was supposed to feel like. Then everything got … Continue reading my history of understanding friendship — act II: the third thing
my history of understanding friendship — act I: the bracelet-making soulmate and the life-sized goodbye..
When I was a kid, friendship felt pretty straightforward. You’d walk up to another kid on the playground and ask if they wanted to play. If they said yes and were nice, boom: friend. If they said no or broke one of my sacred, unspoken rules? Not a friend. Just some kid with poor judgment. … Continue reading my history of understanding friendship — act I: the bracelet-making soulmate and the life-sized goodbye..
cami is absent today…
When I was a kid, all the way through the end of my school career, I was frequently absent. I was accused regularly of playing sick to achieve this level of absence. The amount of guilt I have carried with me over the years for faking sick is... a lot. It's a lot to carry. … Continue reading cami is absent today…
the diagnosis…
The past 18 months or so of my life have been a lot. Never mind any part that has anything to do with anything outside of my brain, body, and spirit. Reflecting on the me-ness of this past year and a half has been a lot. I think my childhood was about avoiding diagnosis and … Continue reading the diagnosis…
the typewritten word…
There's something about the look of those stark black letters on white cotton paper being pulled from the typewriter. There's no way to duplicate it. You can't photocopy it and achieve the same effect. You can't use your computer because no font in the world can duplicate it. The indentation of the letters perfectly in … Continue reading the typewritten word…
derailed…
Some days don't really go the way you expect them to and despite our best efforts things get derailed. It happens with weeks, months, years and lifetimes too. It also happens with blog posts. Today was such a day in the land of Cami-blogging. I was writing a lovely post entitled "prints". It's a memory … Continue reading derailed…
it’s a poem… just deal with it
For the most part my resurgence in posting as of late is just me diving back into myself. Allowing me a chance to be me for a while and to work with something I love. Words. My love affair with words started when I was young. Very young. When my older brother started reading I … Continue reading it’s a poem… just deal with it
back it
In July of last year a dear friend of mine decided to follow her bliss. Her vision. Her desire in life. She decided to set aside so many other parts of her life and focus on a task that she found important to her soul, and also, to the future of on line publishing. Michelle … Continue reading back it
CamiKaos 