laundry, you dirty devil, we meet again…

I hate doing the laundry.  If there was one task I would hire someone to come into my home to do it would be the laundry.

They’d find the perfect place for my hamper, pick the towels up off the floor and out of the tub, pick the clothing I drop on the floor next to the bed up and put it in the hamper, pick up K’s clothes, know when Mike’s clothes are dirty and need to be washed and then they’d wash everything, dry everything and fold it up (or hang it as the case may be) and put it away.

Without me ever knowing.

Why is that not a service that is offered for a reasonable price?

Why are there not magic laundry fairies?

Why am I so bad at doing laundry?  This is how it goes at my house:

– I collect all the laundry from bedrooms and bathrooms and random couches (I swear it’s K’s laundry that winds up on the couch)

– With the help of my trusty assistant we then sort the laundry into piles according to color.  Except denim and towels.  They each have their own piles.

– I open the washer lid to put a load in only to realize there’s already a load of towels in there from… oh last weekish.

– Sigh

– I run the towels a second time while I go clean the kitchen or write a blog post or play super heroes with K.

– I make lunch.

– I read my twitter stream and send out a slew of endlessly entertaining tweets.

– I vacuum something or scrub a toilet

– K and I work on her reading

– OH SHIT!!!  I forgot about the towels.

– I run downstairs and put the towels in the dryer (which may or may not have a load of dry whites in it from last weekish)

– The whites go in the laundry basket cold and wrinkly because it’s just socks and undershirts and no one gives a shit if they’re wrinkled.

– Towels go in to dry.

– I turn on the dryer (with pliers because the knob broke off).

– I put in a load of blacks because in our house, there are always two loads of black clothes… you’d think we were undertakers or something, but no… we just really like our clothes dark.  Even the little punk rock princess is gaining more than her fair share of black clothes.

– Then there’s more play time/ reading/ movie watching/ insanity with the child

– show research maybe

– chatting with a friend

– care and feeding of my Hulu addiction while trying pretty unsuccessfully to fold the whites because I’m distracted by whatever I happen to be watching

– The towels!  They must be dry!

– Do you see how long this list has gotten?

– I get the towels out of the dryer, switch the load from the washer to the dryer, turn down the heat on the dryer, put in the second load of black clothes and take the basket of clean towels upstairs only to realize that the load of white clothes is still sitting there waiting to be folded.

– But I need to make dinner.

Can you see where all this is going?  Yeah… I’m bad at the laundry thing.  This weekend a friend told me that when her wife does laundry she puts in the load to wash, then puts it in to dry then folds it and puts it away.  Just like that.  Immediately.  Right away.  I think she was lying.  I can’t believe that there’s any part of the world that laundry works that way.  It isn’t true is it?

Say it isn’t so babies… so it isn’t so.

9 thoughts on “laundry, you dirty devil, we meet again…

  1. Annika says:

    This one time, I folded and put away our laundry the same day that I washed it all. The next morning when my husband went to get dressed he couldn’t find his clothes. Because they were actually where they belong. Naturally, I have not made that mistake again.

  2. Kathryn Martini says:

    It is a true story (about my wife) although today because I am without kids, I am doing the laundry. As I sit here, I am listening and waiting for the washer to stop washing. The previous load is hanging on the line, which as you know, can’t stay there for fear of rain. I may actually accomplish this task, but I can’t move from where I am sitting until the washer stops or the plan will be foiled for sure.

  3. stephanie (bad mom) says:

    Um. I really like to do laundry and often get it folded & put away on the same day. Please don’t hate me.

    Maybe we can work out a trade of services – you seem to like and be good at cooking meals, which I find tedious.

    :D

  4. tenatahirih says:

    I am trying this new thing.
    I try to do one load per day.
    I’ve tried to enlist the help of the boy and the man in my house to PUT THEIR OWN CLOTHES AWAY. The boy shoves it all into one drawer.
    The man throws it on the floor.
    I fold my own things and put them ON TOP of my dresser.
    I put my baby’s things away instantly, though.
    Biased? Yes.

  5. NanaKaos says:

    You miss me at laundry time if at no other. All you have to do is put it out where I can find it and I’ll wash it, if it’s dry, I fold it, you only have to put it away. See, don’t you wish I was there? Me too!

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