hope hurts

For someone with such a pessimistic outlook on life… I really am quite the optimist. I see the very best in my friends and loved ones. I believe that we can make our lives happy, healthy, better.

But for someone with such an optimistic outlook on life… I really am quite a pessimist.

While my faith in people in my life, in my family, in my immediate world, is strong, my faith in the world isn’t always what it could be.

Tonight I watched intently as Barack Obama gave his speech accepting the Democratic nomination for President of the United States and I cried. I know I’m not the only one, there were teary eyes across the nation. I’m not ashamed of the tears, of the emotion that was wrenched from me… but the reason for it stings.

At first I thought I was crying because I was so inspired by this man, by his family. It took a while but I realized that my tears were selfish.

This is the first time in my 31 years of life that I have seen a political figure who actually moves me. Someone that I respect. That I admire. That inspires me. That gives me hope.

I don’t want that taken away.

I’m afraid that our country, that my fellow citizens will make a mistake and elect another old stuff shirt that sits on his laurels while our country falls to the wolves. I’m afraid that enough people won’t stand up and say “yes we can”.

For the first time I’m not just voting for the lesser of the evils. I’m voting for someone I truly think will give his all to make this country a place I can be proud to raise my child in.

And I’m so afraid to hope and have my heart broken.

14 thoughts on “hope hurts

  1. Greg says:

    Dear @camikaos, I have 10 years on you, and I feel your pain. Jimmy Carter is truly a good man, but I don’t see any other presidents in my lifetime that way. For weeks now, I have felt a tangible fear growing that John McCain will be our next president. This fear is stronger than I had with Bush 4 years ago. I’ll be on the streets seeing how many people I can show the voice to say, “Yes, we can.” Because I feel Barack Obama, too, is a good man with a great family, for the first time in many years I will not be voting with my chosen Green Party. Who else will be out on the streets the next 2 months pleading, “Yes, we can!”

  2. Aaron says:

    I’m not yet sold on Obama, but I’m not a huge fan of McCain either. I guess I’m that swing demographic that in theory will be the target of 9 zillion ads over the next couple of months.That said, even though I’m not inspired by Obama, I think it’s cool that he has managed to rally a bunch of folks and inspire such enthusiasm. I’m happy that folks have found someone they truly believe in, rather than just a candidate who they feel is the lesser of two evils.

  3. loveyh says:

    Amen, Cami! I feel the same way–and every day, my admiration for Obama grows. I hope that we see history made this election!

  4. Mommy Jo says:

    We on the other side of your border watched intently when Obama spoke. As Canadians we have discussions like, “Who would you vote for?”. Yep, your northern neighbors care a lot who will be your next President to lead your lovely country.

  5. Jo Beaufoix says:

    Oh Cami, I hope he wins. He comes over such a good and passionate man. I want him for you, if I could vote, I promise I would. Wonderful post babe.

  6. hotmamamia says:

    I cried too, for the same reasons and I am going to be 56! I am so tired of watching our country go down the ‘crapper’. I remember the AMAZING hope that John Kennedy stirred in people. I can completely recall the incredible hope that ‘the man from Hope’ brought to our country…and I believe, in all my heart, that Barack Obama is the right man, at the right time. I fear for what our country will become if he is NOT elected.Yes, we can….if everyone who beleives that goes out to vote November 4, then not only Yes, we can, but YES, WE WILL.

  7. NanaKaos says:

    I hope with all of my heart for the miracle to take place. We have also been voting for the lesser of the evils since before you were born. The last time we believed was before DK was born. I fear for the future of our country if we have a G.W.B. retread. If you believe in prayer now is the time, we won’t survive 4 more years. Change we can believe in? Yes we can!

  8. CamiKaos says:

    greg: I hope I don't have to suffer disappointmentAaron: Your open mindedness is refreshinglori: <3loveyh: me too doll, me toomommy jo: I can imagine…sybil: picky pickyjo: xoxohot mamamia: yes we canstu: so good to hear!mom: I'm so proud to be your childholly: how many times am I supposed to respond to you?

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