camikaos goes to the movies…

It is a rare occasion indeed when Dr. Normal and I get to go out of the house just the two of us without serious prior arrangement, but it just happened to work out that way on Sunday in the late afternoon.

We’d had a long weekend of fun and fancy, but all that fun was a lot of hard work so at the end of our weekend, knowing that Dr. Normal had one more day off to look forward to, we decided to take advantage of the fact that my mom is visiting and staying with us. We changed clothes and gears (Sunday morning saw Dr. Normal playing a gig in Sellwood Park) and headed out the door.

After a stop to talk to some neighbors, another to pick up some perfume and then a little pause as we randomly ran into some neighbors who moved away a year or so ago we headed down to the waterfront for perfect martinis and a lovely dinner.

We were having too much fun, enjoying each others company too much.

We didn’t want the evening to end.

We each had our own idea of what to do with our stolen time:

Dr. Normal thought it was a perfect evening to stroll hand in hand along the water. For us to spend some quiet time talking and admiring the beautiful weather while strolling along the river that we were married on.

I thought it was a good time to watch and action flick.

I won.

When dinner was finished up we got into Dr. Normal’s car and left the sanity of the city to head out to suburbia where there was an 8 pm showing of The Dark Knight that wasn’t sold out. It was a big sacrifice for him to spend our precious alone time driving out to a movie theater. In the years that Dr. Normal and I have been together we have probably seen less than 10 movies in a big theater together.

He hates them, big theaters that is. We have a small locally owned one screen theater in our neighborhood that he’ll go to if a good movie is playing but other than that he can’t be bothered. I respect that. I appreciate. I agree. I hate those big theaters with 15 screens and huge crowds with overpriced over salted food and too loud sound systems. But…

isn’t there always a but?

The Dark Knight isn’t playing at our theater and we don’t always have my mom around to watch K for us, to put her to bed, to allow me an evening out with my husband when I don’t have to worry about our daughter.

And I really realllllly wanted to see it. REALLY REALLY REALLY.

So he gave me what I wanted. Gave up his sunset stroll on the river to take me too a movie that he wanted to see, but would have been happy to wait for it to come out on DVD.

For that, I really owe him thanks, and an apology.

We drove out to the mall, parked in the garage, walked to the theater and bought tickets. The only think that kept Dr. Normal from screaming and ripping his skin off was that we didn’t have to wait in line. We shelled out $20 for our 2 tickets and I know that everyone says this all the time, but really $20 for the two of us to just get into the theater??? I can buy a movie for that… I frequently do buy a movie for that! For less than that!

But I really wanted to see the movie, REALLY REALLY wanted to see it.

We headed inside and stepped up to the snack counter where they had one thing going for them… they had cherry coke. I asked how large a large was and the counter girl showed me a soda larger than my cat. I asked how big a medium was and she showed me a soda larger than my head.

I ordered a small… it was still huge.

I got Dr. Normal a small bag of popcorn and she asked if he wanted butter on it. I could see the vein twitching in his forehead. I quickly told her no, but even as she was walking off to scoop up his fluffy popcorn goodness he was grumbling about the fact that it wasn’t even actually really butter! “FALSE ADVERTISING” he loudly snarled as she was turning back toward us with his bag of popcorn. I paid her quickly and ushered him along. Thankfully our theater was the closest one so I steered him in and we found our seats…

That’s when it got bad, really bad… they were showing commercials. Not just one commercial but one after another until I felt like I’d been watching ads for hours. Dr. Normal couldn’t take it so he pulled out his iPhone and popped in his headset, closed his eyes and began playing Wagner as loud as he could hoping to drown out the inane advertisements that were sending him into a frenzy…

When an especially riveting piece came on he handed me one of the ear pieces so I could listen too.

There were at least 30 minutes of commercials before the disembodied movie theater voice over woman said it was time for previews, guess what? SHE LIED.

Even after she said it was time for previews there were still MORE COMMERCIALS.

(yes I know that previews are just commercials for other movies… I get that I do…)

It cost $10 per person to get into the movie and they still make us watch 30+ minutes of commercials?!! I hate commercials, that’s why I have TiVo. Dr. Normal hates commercials, that’s one of the reasons he doesn’t watch TV.

When the previews finally started in earnest we made fun of the stupid movies coming out (except the new James Bond movie… we can’t wait to see that, I hope it comes to our small local theater).

Then it was finally time or The Dark Night to start…

Dr. Normal pulled out of his justifiable but incredibly unpleasantly grumpy funk and turned off his music, we curled up and watched the movie…

When it was over (yes, that’s right… I’m not telling you anything about the movie) we stayed in our seats until everyone had finished shoving and elbowing to get out the doors and then we strolled out hand in hand and headed for our car.

I’m just glad we didn’t have to watch any commercials after the movie or Dr. Normal might have imploded before we made it home.

15 thoughts on “camikaos goes to the movies…

  1. belle says:

    I am soooo with you on the ‘big’ theatre experience. I hate the commercials, I hate the over priced snacks, I hate the noise and the crowds. Buuuuuuut, they do have more leg room than our small local. I am wanting to see The Dark Knight muchly. Took our family to Mamma Mia last night. So all the irritations are at the forefront of my mind. OK I’ll stop grumping now. You should see what you got up to with David on my boat …

  2. Mommy Jo says:

    My hubby and I love going to the movies and yet we complain about the bad seats, sticky floor and the loud popcorn eaters! Self-inflicted pain I think is what you call that!

  3. stephanie (bad mom) says:

    Poor Dr. Normal would have a brain hemorrhage if he knew how much Stu & I paid to see The Dark Knight at our local frou-frou 21+ theater, where we then ordered fancy food & wine to be delivered to our seats…And still had to sit through commercials & previews.But for Christian & Heath & Aaron & Gary (& Maggie)? Anything.Glad you survived :D

  4. sybil law says:

    One positive is that at least at the movies still, everything is crazy big and oversized. I hate movie theaters, and frequently do not go, but lately, things have been shrinking in portion size while we’re still being charged the same price. I’ve noticed it on nearly everything I buy. Nice to know the theater still has those humongous popcorns and drinks! (Althought they’ve always been overpriced…)Anyway, fun times! Thank God for mommies!

  5. thebeerbitch says:

    Sean and I have never been to a movie theater together. We’ve also never had a fight. Related? Obviously. I am jealous though… I’m dying to see the Dark Night. I just don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Dr. Normal and your mom are saints!

  6. Lisa Milton says:

    I love seeing a movie in just about any format but the commercials drive me nuts too.Captive audience. UG.Glad you had a night out.

  7. missburrows says:

    Why do you say that he did you a big favor by letting you go to the movies? He was just repaying the *cough* favor *cough* you gave him that morning. ;)

  8. holly says:

    no no no . . . me? i love bending over and taking it up the backside financially. and i find that the coke at the cinema is so good that i WANT to pay them a $10 for it. i want to know. after you saw the dark knight.did you go have a dark knight burger king whopper? just like batman would have?

  9. CamiKaos says:

    belle: I went. I saw. I thought things I shouldn’t think about a paper doll… You should see Dark Knight, I really enjoyed it.Mommy Jo: We love going to the one theater by our house, other than that it takes quite a movie to motivate us.Stephanie: We would have paid more to go there but the shows were sold out, and he would have been easier to handle if I could put a glass of wine in his hand.Beth: I’m not a big fan of huge portions… plus I can’t even have popcorn in a theater because of my sodium intake restriction. Sigh. But I really enjoyed the part where we were watching the movie… and the 007 preview.Beerbitch: yes they are. there is a lot of saint hood in my house. He and I take turns with that mantle. Sunday it was his turn… Lisa: He picks and chooses his movie watching carefully. I do too, but I seem like a movie slut compared to him.Mie: I couldn’t sleep through all his growling ;)Missburrows: That was a favor for him? And here I thought I was the one that got lucky…Holly: No, but I almost went and bought an entire city so that I could model it after Gotham…. DaddyKaos: If you’re lucky you’ll be here by then and I’ll let you watch it on the big screen.David: :)

  10. says:

    Tannhauser Overature (from the opera by Wagner) made it all better. Load it on you iPod and put it on your headphones anytime you want to tune out (makes a great soundtrack for ‘real life’).

  11. julie says:

    I love going to the theater… but I could seriously do without the commercials! It’s especially hard when you’re trying to keep your excited kid calm before the movie starts.

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