Luke, I am not your father…

Baaa Baaa Baaaaaaaaa

That is sheep talk because today, that is me. A sheep. A following along with the flow of the interwebby sheep. Baaaaa.

Why? Because The Holmes asks how I (not me personally I am sure he intended for everyone to answer) would recast (The Original) Star Wars.

Oh no he didn’t? Ahem, oh yeah, yes he did.

And I wouldn’t? Oh yeah babies, yeah I will.

So on with the show, the show where I write and you read and shake your heads in disbelief because my show is often more like a long painful train wreck that you would like to stop staring at but you JUST can’t because you might see some tits or carnage.

So onto the tits & carnage:

Luke Skywalker: Owen Wilson. It would be funnier with Owen in it plus he has that same weird thing where there is just something off about his face. With Owen you can look at his nose and say “oh yeah, that had to hurt” and then move on and be able to look at him, but Mark Hamill just had an overall facial oddness that was hard to concentrate on. It would be an improvement.

Han Solo:
When I was a little girl my first ever mondo sized crush was on Han Solo. Really. The funny thing is I have never had a thing for Harrison Ford, it must be the costume. That was a yummy sight that caused many naughty thoughts later on in life, in honor of my first big ol crush I would cast my darling Mr. Kaos in hopes he would get to keep the costume… oh, and leave the Wookie on the ship, I’m not into all that fur.

Princess Leia Organa:
ME, oh me please, who are we kidding a chance to get it on with Han Solo? I’m all in baby. I tried to think of someone else I really did but those boots and that little off kilter smile…. sigh…. every. girls. dream. Or just mine but really, who cares? This is all about me.

Grand Moff Tarkin:
Gary Oldman. I believe that most good movies should include Gary Oldman in their cast. He’s rather brilliant and I think he could pull off the whole Tarkin thing in classic Oldman grace.

Ben “Obi-Wan” Kenobi:
This is one thing I have a lot of difficulty messing with, I feel like Alec was the glue that bound the movie, but since I am being all pushy and recasting it anyway what the hell. My first instinct is just to say Ewan McGregor because I think his casting in the newer movies was one of the very few things done right, but is that cheating? Pooey, who cares if it’s cheating. Ewan McGregor I say. He nailed it.

Darth Vader:
Two words: Eddie. Izzard. Mmhmm. Eddic. Izzard. This was a clear and simple easy choice as I do think he did a skit as Vader once and it stuck so hard in my mind I can’t shake him, I can’t shake him. It was either that or my darling Martin who likes to borrow large soup pots from peoples kitchens and put them over his head and then give a Vader speech, but his impression is too spot on.

So… how were them apples?

8 thoughts on “Luke, I am not your father…

  1. mielikki says:

    Sounds like a fun version of Star Wars. Tell me, would you have the Cinnamon bun hairstyle? And, I can’t believe you wouldn’t want Han to bring Chewy in. I bet K would love to have Chewy as a babysitter. . .

  2. sybil law says:

    Oh man the original Luke is disgusting! ANYONE is better in that role!Oh Han Solo – he was my first huge crush, too. MmmmmmI liek all your changes. You’d be a darling Leia.

  3. bellevelma says:

    Okay, but if you were Leia you’d change the hair right? Because those braids looking like giant cinnamon buns, U-G-L-Y. If you are updating the cast then you have to update Leia’s hairstyle. HAVE. TO.

  4. Daveman says:

    Oh man!? I wanted the part of Obiwan…, I can do Old real good. Lately I have had lots of practice. **clutches back in overt dramatic way** And THAT my dear wasn’t even putting my acting skills into play. -sigh- I get no respect at all.

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