There are only a handful of blogs that I read everyday. There are many that I go and pop into once a week or so and skim for brilliance, but the must read everyday blogs get me through the crazy day that is mine. One of those blogs is Melanie in Orygun. I have to tell you, the first time I saw her title my Portland Girl hackles went up and I said “No, no mam, I hate it when people pronounce Oregon that way, it’s not good, even to mock it is to give it POWER”.
I was soon swayed by her charm and wit and now, as I’ve said, I read her everyday. So yesterday laying in bed being waited on by my dutiful 5 year old water barer I read her interview meme. I popped out of my little shell and said “ooh ooh interview me”. Luckily I fulfilled the requirement of asking and she obliged, so here are her questions and my answers, and I must say, lucky for me she is so very prompt because I had no idea what else to write today…
1. You recently said: “[…] Between the stuff I am doing at K’s school, my plan to join the PTA in September, volunteer at her new school, help with the ad sales at the community center, my personal blog, my metblogs posts, raising the child and Mr. Kaos, all the household stuff and my intention to write a book (oh no I am not joking, I am 3 chapters in)[…]” – Holy shit! Are you serious? No, no, wait, that wasn’t my question. My question is this: How do you find the time to do all these things and still take some “Me time”? Do you get that time? If so, what’s your first priority when you do?
There are things that suffer in the wild ride, but I try to make sure me time isn’t on the back burner. I haven’t had a pedicure in about a year though, so I should get on that.
The first “me” thing I make time for is writing, then getting my hair done and my brows waxed and then napping. It sounds spartan, but I love a good nap.
The stuff for K’s school and the community, I consider that part of my job as a parent so I make time for it like any working mom would, I just do it (which reminds me the kid’s book orders are not going to put themselves out).
I try to let some stuff go to get that time, it drives Mr. Kaos crazy sometimes but the housework is the first to suffer. I’ll wait an extra day to sweep the floor or start an extra load of wash. If I feel the need to write for a while I’ll leave the dishes in the sink until I pick K up from school so I can have a little time to think undisturbed.
Or, I ride my bike up the driveway and let it land on me so I can take a day to sleep.
2. In another post you said that your mother “really subscribed to the if you love someone set them free style of parenting”; do you think you’ll follow her lead in this approach, or do you feel that you have your own unique parenting style? As a sort of sub-question, do you think that we’re more likely to “become our moms” as we develop our parenting skills, or that we evolve from generation to generation as parents?
No I subscribe to the duct tape the child to my leg school of parenting. It sounds like a hassle I know but let me tell you, free hair removal and I never have to wonder where she is.
In reality, where I just want to tape her to me but know the law won’t allow it, we aren’t there yet. Luckily at 5 there is only so much letting go we have to do. She doesn’t even want to have sleep overs yet. I am crossing my fingers and hopping on one foot hoping that she will grow up milder than I was, calmer, less rebellious, not as angry, wearing less black eyeliner and not drinking so much soda. I like to think that when the time comes and we meet a real challenge with K I will have the strength to make whatever decision is necessary, even if it isn’t the popular choice.
In answer to the sub question: I think this question is, for me, the hardest of the bunch. I do all the little cliché things that you hope you’ll never do. My mom was huge on “because I said so” and I always swore I never would. I hated “because I said so”. I say “because I said so” on a fairly regular basis when I am tired of telling her I don’t want my bathroom flooded or that I don’t need my hair done or my makeup fixed. That doesn’t in any way answer the question.
I think we evolve more than we become our mothers. I think we take the skills our mother’s gave us and make them our own. The time we live in is so very different than when our parent’s raised us. It isn’t the uphill in the snow both ways or the bread for a nickel thing, but technology. Technology is everywhere now and that one difference alone changes everything.
3. Cheesy mommy question alert!!! What do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned from your daughter?
It’s all okay. There seems to be very little that together we can’t get through, we haven’t been defeated yet. Someday I think K will take over the world and I won’t notice because it’s all okay. I stressed about so many insignificant things before I was a mother. Since about a month after she was born when we realized that she would live despite our fumblings as parents she’s let me know it’s all okay. I hope she’s right.
4. You are a self-described “tattooed mama.” Aside from that one tattoo I saw in your labor story post, do you have others? If so, what’s your favorite one? Got any pics of it, if it’s not in a no-no zone? (I am not a perv or a 50-year-old guy in disguise. I’m just curious. And I promise not to ask “Did it hurt?”)
I do have others. I can’t get all of them in one picture so I will just post this one:
My favorite tattoo isn’t pictured there. It is a delicate purple shaded armband on my right upper arm.
5. This is a question I’m going to ask everyone I interview: Do you think that blogging has changed the way you write or the way you approach writing? If so, how?
100% without a doubt yes. I started blogging because I stopped writing.
I wrote mainly when I was very sad, very confused, very unsatisfied with life, and when I didn’t like who I was. Shortly before I met my husband I decided I didn’t like who I was turning into and set about making my life better. Not in an altruistic way, just for me. I didn’t notice that when things got better with me my writing went away. Then I met my husband, fell in love, fell off the planet and then did realize one day when I found a box full of short stories, journals and poems that “Oh, I used to write”.
For me blogging was a door leading back to my passion and it has remade me as a writer. Of course, it’s remade me as a long winded loon who doesn’t check her grammar or punctuation. I’m not sure if it’s for the better, but I’m happy with it.
Mel thought she was at the end of the Internet for this meme so I am probably hanging off the end of the world holding on to a branch but if you want me to ask you some stuff here we go. I’ll ask up to 5 people. Wanna play? Here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.