I started the morning with a video a friend sent me. In it, a guy was talking about his workout attitude. He had been all-or-nothing. If he couldn’t do it perfectly, he wouldn’t do it at all. That hit me. Hard. I’ve been circling around this idea for years: literal thinking, binary thinking, the trap … Continue reading No One Sees the Dial
Manners matter. They did when I was seventeen and broke, working my very first job as a telemarketer… though the company dressed it up as “appointment setter.” I wasn’t closing sales, but I could calm nerves and soothe hurt feelings… and that was enough for Bobby and Josh, the managers, to keep me around. I … Continue reading Manners Matter. Rejection Stings. Silence Corrodes…
There’s this thing that happens when I’m playing Animal Crossing. I’m wandering around in my little pink dress and pink bear head, watering flowers, chopping down trees, and checking on my neighbors. Katt has a cold, so I take her some medicine. They’re all thrilled to see me. They gush, they sparkle, they tell me … Continue reading Masking Monday: Demented and Sad, but Social
I love horror movies. I mean, not every horror movie. Some of them are just… well, horrible. Yes, that pun was intended. No, I’m not even a little bit sorry. Because we’re about to enter the land that many choose to actively avoid—the land of horror movies. Not gonna lie: as I typed that last … Continue reading the horrors…
We’ve established here before that I called out sick from school. A lot. And when I was working from a physical office, I called out sick there too. The first time I was ever fired it was explicitly because I just could not reliably show up and pretend to be someone else 8 to 12 … Continue reading Masking Monday: The Good Friend Mask
Let’s talk about my face. Specifically, the one it makes when I’m not actively arranging it for the comfort of the general public. Apparently, that face says: “I’m mad.”“I’m tired.”“I’m annoyed.”“I’m such a bitch.” Here’s the thing: I’m not mad. I’m not tired. I’m not annoyed. (Okay, sometimes I’m annoyed, but usually at my email … Continue reading Masking Monday: The Face at Rest…
Some creatures come bearing joy. Others bring mayhem. Mine arrived and immediately began reorganizing the house—emotionally and otherwise. This week, he unearthed a long-forgotten tiki relic, possibly cursed (definitely ceramic), and claimed it as his own. I haven’t questioned his intentions. Mostly because he hasn’t blinked in four days. Day 29 The silence between us … Continue reading Creature Report: Entry 005 – He Knows What He Did
Sometimes, I just stop. Not because the day is over. Not because everything’s done. But because I’ve reached my limit. Sensory, emotional, existential—doesn’t matter which. My system throws a little internal breaker switch and suddenly it’s time. Back in the box. It’s not a literal box (though if you told me I could crawl into … Continue reading back in the box…
It finally happened. After weeks of delay, incantations disguised as order confirmations, and whispered pleas into the void of tracking numbers… two of the creatures arrived. But not by mail. Not by courier. Not even via Pop Mart drop. They were hand-delivered by my internet fairy godfather at the sweetest little coffee shop on the … Continue reading Creature Report: Entry 004 – They’re Heeeeere
Somewhere in November of 2006, I let something out I hadn’t meant to share—just a breath at first. But it turned into a voice. It wasn’t calculated.It was necessary.And it was brave. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew I needed to say something. Anything. Loudly. On the internet. Before I drowned … Continue reading Post 1200: A Love Letter to Every Version of Me Who Hit Publish
CamiKaos 