I always thought part of my struggle as a human was that I’m not terribly malleable. Imagine my surprise when — after years of therapy — I had the realization that I’ve been too fucking malleable.

Too willing to change and reshape myself. Repackage myself. Let my opinions be known… but not if they’re hurtful.

You know the old message. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

Well. Just no.

I left a bad review of a seller yesterday. Bad luck for this person that I started standing up for myself more on the exact day they triggered me. They performed outside of the business and social contract without communicating. And as my pal Mindy taught me from her softball knowledge: “if you deviate, communicate.”

This morning I woke up to a request to change my review.

I can think of nothing else. The one time I’m honest and upfront — the one time I decide it matters more to get what was promised and warn others about a bad actor — the bad actor immediately asks me to change my words.

I have been through a lifetime of manipulation, controlling behavior, and being put down just for being myself. And my therapist just really recently got through to me that I’m not a bad person.

Like. At all.

In fact I might be leaning toward the belief that I am a good person.

So no, mister-pull-the-rug-from-under-my-feet. I see you. I see your pattern. I’m not making it up… and I’m not going to let you intimidate or manipulate me into saying otherwise.

So yes. I woke up with an inflamed justice nerve this morning. And I’m not going to ice it for anyone.

Featured image by Anna Shvets