43 and reflecting on not knowing what I didn’t know…

I was horrible at being friends with women in my youth. Horrible at it. In my youth I was one of those girls who were only friends with guys. I was one of the boys. Just one of the boys who liked to wear goth makeup and short skirts.

Women were too much. Too mean, too petty, too complicated, too clingy, too back stabbing, too high maintenance, too selfish. Women took too much work to be with. There were exceptions of course but mostly…

Too much.

So today as I sit here being a 43 year old woman for the very first time I celebrate my birthday and International Women’s day and all the women in my life with the knowledge that it wasn’t they who were problematic. Or not just them at least. It was me. I didn’t see the importance of sisterhood. I didn’t understand that we could lift each other up. Be one another’s life lines. I didn’t know the exquisite pain and beauty of raising a daughter. Of having a village of extraordinary women in my life. Of having a best friend, or a squad of best friends.

Today I do.

So today I want to say thank you to all those extraordinary women who have touched my life and informed who I am. To say I love you. To say I wouldn’t still be here without you and I am always here for you.

Happy happy birthday to me, the gift of your love is the most wonderful offering I could hope for. <3

2 thoughts on “43 and reflecting on not knowing what I didn’t know…

  1. ginmom4 says:

    You may not know this, but you were a life line to me in one of the most traumatic times of my life. I will always be grateful to you and love you for it! I never saw you as a bad friend, but I believe we both felt the same about having girls as friends when we were younger. ;)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.