Consumer Whore Cami Buys Toilet Paper…

I was going to start this off by saying that toilet paper is the one thing that we can all relate on, but after just a few moments of thought I realized a few things:

  • Toilet paper is a huge luxury and privilege – one that many of us take for granted.
  • The over/under position of the toilet paper flap is something friends and families battle over for lifetimes.
  • Use of toilet paper is literally flushing trees down the toilet one scrap at a time.
  • Some people will wipe their parts with anything. Others are a little prissy.
  • I am a little prissy.

As a 42 year old human I feel confident saying I’ve been using toilet paper for at least 40 years of my life. I might not have been using it properly during those early years, but I was using it. As a child did you ever take the end of the toilet paper roll, still attached to the rest of the roll, and feed it into the toilet then flush to see what happened? I don’t think I ever did and I’m really regretting that at the moment. Adult me cares too much about trees and money to waste a roll of paper like that. I long for an earlier time when I didn’t know to care. Darn my desire for the world to be a better place, even if it’s just one roll of toilet paper at a time.

Which is kind of why I’m sitting down to write this post. To revive the long lost Consumer Whore Cami series by talking to you about a thing we use to wipe up our bodily fluids after we use the toilet. That’s right. I pee. I also poop. While I won’t go so far as to say Everybody Poops, I’m suspicious that most of us do.

I’ve had varying degrees of brand loyalty for years. My longest lasting favorite was Charmin. It could have been Mr. Wipple who first convinced me in my youth that Charmin was the best, but the sassy bear family that is the current Charmin mascot probably helped keep me around. It was after all squeezable soft and didn’t scratch when I wiped my wipables. And I long for consistency so having the same positive experience goes a long way with me.

But. And there’s always a but… We went through too much toilet paper to buy small packages of it and I was tired of lugging around large packages of it. And when I had it delivered it was plastic wrapped in plastic and often wrapped in more plastic. Also the whole tree killing thing. And the whole corporate giant taking over the world thing.

No, I’m not really sure a toilet paper manufacturer can take over the world. But whatever. I feel it so I said it. Consumer whore Cami, like most consumers, makes most purchases based on feelings.

So I started to explore the wide world of alternative toilet papers. I tried a few that left me scratchy and displeased, and though they touted themselves as environmentally friendly and superior they were still wrapped in plastic. And as I said… scratchy. Did I mention I’m a little prissy?

After 4 or 5 brand tries last year I landed on Who Gives A Crap? When I found their site I was struck with joy. Well joy and trepidation. They’re B Corp certified, help build toilets for people who need them, don’t use any dyes or scents, and the products are made from bamboo or recycled materials. So much excite. But how can all that goodness feel good on your ass?

This is the part where I say this is not an ad, they’re not paying me, and they don’t give me free stuff. If they wanted to I would totally accept it because their product rocks. Rocks like they’re awesome, not rocks like ouch.

I order the prissiest of their toilet papers, the premium bamboo 3-ply, which is also the most expense product. But it’s worth it. They ship it in a giant cardboard box (so it’s recyclable and also bio degradable) and there’s not a scrap of plastic to be seen. Each roll is individually wrapped in paper, which feels wasteful but it’s also better than plastic. And the wrappers are super cute which encourages you to think outside the box and use them as something other than trash. Over the holidays they had a line of rolls that were wrapped in festive paper to be reused as gift wrap. That’s clever. I like clever. I’m a sucker for clever, even if it’s not terribly practical.

So if you’re looking for a soft, comfy, cute, and environmentally friendly toilet paper that gives back to less privileged folx I might suggest you get it from Who Gives a Crap? because as far as giving a crap they seem to. Also you get to enjoy that great feeling of cozy goodness when you get to think you did something good for the planet while still being a privileged princess. Or maybe that’s just me?

Edited to add: After someone asked if I had a discount code to share I looked into it and found one. If you want to give it a try, use this link and you’ll get $10 off and I’ll get $10 on my next order.

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