As parent who works full time from home my workday shouldn’t be greatly disrupted by my tween being home sick from school, none the less I catch myself saying some of the darndest things while trying to focus on work while she’s around…

• Please put David Tennant down, I can’t concentrate on work when you’re squeaking his coat.
• Options for kids home sick from school in this house are limited to going to bed to sleep, sitting quietly on the couch while watching Lord of the Rings, doing your homework, and cleaning your room. Everything else is outlawed.
• Stop that. And that.
• If I hear a single squeak or song out of those big eyed lemurs they’re going back to the zoo.
• Sick kids don’t get candy.
• Yes, Elijah Wood would make a very pretty woman, but that’s Frodo not Arwen.
• No my adding machine is not voice activated, but I can talk to it if I want.

I’m thinking it’s best to just talk to myself during the workday…