This is not the first note I’ve written to you today, dear laptop. Earlier I asked why you won’t add a period when I double space after a sentence. It’s not like I was holding you personally responsible. It’s not like I thought it was JUST you. It’s the entire computing industry. I’m just so used to that double space period when I type on my phone. It’s a feature of my mobile device that I find intuitive, helpful and charming.
Maybe I was a bit harsh when I asked you to be more like my smaller handheld computing device. Maybe I wasn’t thinking of your feelings. But to be fair, laptop, you’re a laptop. You’re not really supposed to have “feelings” per say. We’re not living in the movie Terminator. Or in Matrix. You machines haven’t taken over the world. Yet.
Now I know you’ve been fragile for a while. I know you’re on your last legs so to speak… but if you could just hold out a little longer? Instead of pulling the whack-a-doodle shit you were doing earlier today? Instead of heaving, chugging, running your fan at a high pitched whine and then shutting down for no good reason could you just, well I don’t know, not do all that stuff? Now is not a good time for you to die. Okay?
I’ll try to only say the nicest things. Really.
With love (and trepidation),