This is not the first note I’ve written to you today, dear laptop.  Earlier I asked why you won’t add a period when I double space after a sentence.  It’s not like I was holding you personally responsible.  It’s not like I thought it was JUST you.  It’s the entire computing industry.  I’m just so used to that double space period when I type on my phone.  It’s a feature of my mobile device that I find intuitive, helpful and charming.

Maybe I was a bit harsh when I asked you to be more like my smaller handheld computing device.  Maybe I wasn’t thinking of your feelings.  But to be fair, laptop, you’re a laptop.  You’re not really supposed to have “feelings” per say.  We’re not living in the movie Terminator.  Or in Matrix.  You machines haven’t taken over the world.  Yet.

Now I know you’ve been fragile for a while.  I know you’re on your last legs so to speak… but if you could just hold out a little longer?  Instead of pulling the whack-a-doodle shit you were doing earlier today?  Instead of heaving, chugging, running your fan at a high pitched whine and then shutting down for no good reason could you just, well I don’t know, not do all that stuff?  Now is not a good time for you to die.  Okay?

Please?

I’ll try to only say the nicest things.  Really.

With love (and trepidation),
Cami