start making sense…

I seem to wander between nonsensical ramblings and topics that are really truly important to me.  Actually sometimes the nonsensical ramblings are important to me and that may indeed be the case today.

In November, for those of you who missed out on this little tidbit, my normal blood panel showed that my blood sugar was too high.  Not “Oh my god stick her in the hospital” freak out too high, but high enough that I got a call from my doctor’s office the next day (the next day… how’s that for prompt) telling me that I should cut all processed sugar and refined carbs from my diet.  I freaked.  I cried.  I felt really sorry for myself and mourned the loss of my beloved Cherry Coke.

I starved that first day.  Not because there was nothing in my house to eat, not even because there was nothing that I was allowed to eat… just because I was so upset that once again something was wrong with me.

I’ll be 32 in March, I’ve never been overweight, I take good care of myself, I get plenty of rest and I’ve always eaten relatively healthily.  If you ignore the Cherry Coke that is.  But at 25 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and we were not able to treat it through diet, exercise, stress reduction or even a combination there of.  I’ll be on medication for my blood pressure for the rest of my life.  I did quite a bit of “oh poor me” even though I know that I’m lucky and that so many people have it so much worse than I do.

Over the years I learned to deal with it.  With the additional checkups, the yearly blood work, taking and refilling my prescription and the need to keep myself on an even keel.

But when my blood work came back and something else was wrong?  It sent me into a bit of a spiral.  I’m the first to admit that I was being overly dramatic about it.  It could have been nothing more than a fluke.  My doctor just wanted me to adopt healthier eating habits and come back a few months later for another blood test.  It didn’t matter.  I became childishly irrational, convinced that there will just be another thing wrong with me at each turn.

I recalled the time we were first dealing with my blood pressure, I had to have an MRI to rule out blockages.  The blockages were ruled out, but of course he found other abnormalities.  Things that had to be monitored with a series of MRIs over a two year period of time.  Then there was my abnormal pap that had  me seeing my gynecologist every few months instead of once yearly.  That little foray ended with me out cold on an operating table.

I’ve started talking in circles… whining to you… sorry about that,  the point is it’s a few months later.  It’s February now and time for me to call my doctor’s office to make and appointment.  To set up another blood test.  To see if that high blood sugar was just a fluke or if it’s actually something to worry about.  I’ve done what I was asked to do, for the most part.  The processed sugars have been cut right out, and any simple carbs I eat regularly I have replaced with complex carbs except the rare occasion I indulge my love of sour dough.

And you know what?  I feel thankful that I’ve made this dietey change.  I’ve felt signifigantly better, healthier, have more energy…  but I’m still scared to find out what another blood test will show.

Gawwwd, I’m such a drama queen.

7 thoughts on “start making sense…

  1. Joe says:

    I made the mistake once of having one my my triple shot caramel sauce late about an hour before going in to have my yearly physical done.

    Wow was that a mistake. I totally forgot about fasting when my results came back the Dr wanted me in ASAP to do more test because my blood sugar and liver functions were all sorts or messed up.

    I went back and after more test they cleared me. And being worried about test results does not make you a drama queen. I know what you are going through. I waited weeks for results and even let them slice my neck open for what turned out to be nothing.

  2. Lilacspecs says:

    I understand how you feel. I felt the same when I was diagnosed with PCOS. I don’t have a serious case of it but on top of depression, anxiety and a bleeding disorder, it was just one more thing that was “wrong” with me. And Hans found out last year that he has high blood pressure (he’s 29) despite the fact that he’s only a few pounds over weight, rides his bike almost daily and has never smoked or lived to excess. He’ll be on beta blockers probably the rest of his life. But that means he’ll be with me for a lot longer than if he wasn’t taking the beta blockers.
    I guess it’s all a matter of perspective right?
    But I hope your blood sugar was a fluke. Only so you can have a cherry coke every once in a while :)

  3. julie says:

    It totally sucks when we get to this age where we’re getting older, but we’re not 20 anymore. Stuff starts to happen with our bodies and it’s not so fun. The good thing is, you’re doing something about it. Many people would ignore the problem and let it get worse. But not you. Oh, no.

    Can you have Diet Cherry Coke… or is it just not the same?

  4. 123Valerie says:

    CamiK, the important part to remember is that you are a Queen, with or without the drama. It’s hard thing when your life is challenged in any way, no matter how big or small it might appear to the outside world. If it’s throwing you, it’s automatically a big deal.

    Anyways, I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. And, holy crap! You’re a natural blonde? I would have NEVER thought. I’m sure you look absolutely lovely in any hue.

    Oh, also, PPS, there is a small chance I will be out in Portland this summer visiting some dear friends. I will, of course, keep thee posted.

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