3 AM… a bedtime story

It was almost precisely 3 AM… give or take an hour for daylight savings time.

My birthday had just reached its official end… though there was certainly more celebration to come.

I wasn’t celebrating though… no no no. I was laying in my big huge bed embracing slumber. Sleeping soundly. Dreaming the blissful dreams induced by 2 lovely dirty dry martinis, a 7 course meal and a slice of chocolate cake.

sigh… food coma.

Anyway, there I was nestled in sheets and dreams. K had decided her bed wasn’t good enough for her and climbed into our bed about and hour before… but where was Mr. Kaos? He was no where to be found, at least not in the bed.

If I had felt so inclined I could have looked around the room to see if he was there, but I was asleep so I felt not an inkling of need to know. Still, if I had looked I would have found that he was not in the bedroom. not in the hall. not in the bathroom. or the kitchen. or the living room.

He was climbing the stairs from his basement studio where he had been editing the long form babble between Holly & I so that it would approach something vaguely like a podcast.

He’s a good man…

So as I said if I had been awake to see 3 AM I may have seen him climbing the stairs, making his way through the kitchen, the dining room, through the tiny hall and into our room…

At this point I woke ever so lightly to note that the motion in the doorway to our room was in fact him and not… oh say… a bear. I smiled to myself and began to drift away again on some fantastic dreamland adventure where all my very best blogger pals are having a costume party in the clouds when suddenly there was a


I felt it. I heard it. I leapt out of bed and said

“What was that?!!!”

it was 3 in the morning… I can hardly be expected to quote Dante at that hour…

Mr. Kaos shook his head groggily… perhaps there had been some snoozing in the studio and not just hard work… but we’ll punish him for that later…

It was silly of me to ask him though, I knew what the crack was… it was not the earth opening up to swallow me whole and take me down to dance with the devil… darn it.

It was our bed. Our big huge bed.

I grabbed a flashlight and dropped to my belly. I flipped it on and peered under the bed directing it’s beam of light at each foot of the bed in turn. I couldn’t see a thing.

or rather I couldn’t make out a thing… in my haste to check things out I forgot that I can’t see anything at all without my glasses or contacts. I fell into a fit of despaired giggles… I can laugh at myself… put on my glasses and looked under the bed to see?

A lot of dustbunnies

a couple of socks

and the center foot of our bed broken clean off.

Damn it…

we didn’t even break it the fun way.

14 thoughts on “3 AM… a bedtime story

  1. Lisa Milton says:

    I was just warning Greg not to dive on our bed last night – he loves to be silly each night – lest the bed break.Which sounded mean.I will send this to him and say it could happen, to anyone.(And I’m with you: there has to be a better way…)

  2. sybil law says:

    Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooo!Now it’s time for a new bed?! Wheeeee – shopping time!I still so want that bed at Overstock that had the hidden storage on hydraulics.That bed haunts my dreams, thanks to you showing it to me, like, 2 years ago!Still. Funny.:)

  3. Kimberly says:

    Horrible timing. It could have been so much funnier. Except, by virtue of mentioning how it could have been funnier, it -became- funnier.Cool.

  4. CamiKaos says:

    BW & Sybil: It’s just a broken leg. I wouldn’t get rid of Mr. Kaos if he broke a leg… it can be fixed. We can rebuild it. Make it better. You are much to quick to throw things out.Kimberly: thank youMr. Fab: Yes dear sweet Fabby. YahtzeeLisa: Don’t you love being right? I totally do.

  5. stu says:

    You could finish breaking the rest off ‘the fun way’. That way when you repair them it seems like a more worthwhile use of time.Never broke a bed the fun way, scooted one around a room a couple of times the fun way. “How did we end up over here?”-Stu

  6. holly says:

    i think if you’d have broken it the fun way, you’d risk breaking something *else*.** i mean now that you’ve gone to the trouble of naming certain items and all, you wouldn’t want to injur yourselves!** no, i am not still obsessed with mr kaos’ penis. wait, i never was. i am not obsessed with…oh nevermind i have already lost the credibility. is the bed *that* great? i have only owned one bed that i would cry over its breakage. all others? as replaceable as this comment. and yet i still type it.

  7. mielikki says:

    well you could have told us all you broke it the fun way, and we would have laughed our heads off. Instead, poor bleary Mr. K had to stand there at 3 am and look at his blinded, silly wife on the floor. Sorry about the breakage, but glad you can fix it!

  8. Marcus says:

    It may have been the straw, that broke the camel’s back… but it was the up down up down that wore the bed out. Happy Belated Birthday!

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