it’s complementary

Remember when you were a kid and someone would tell you how cute you were or how nice your bike looked or… you know that you had cool shoes?


My mom would always drill it into my brain “SAY THANK YOU CAMI” and so I would say Thank You but often inside there would be this little moment of panic.

That has never gone away. I don’t accept compliments well. Especially unexpected ones. I tend to stare blankly or say thank you in the vainest most Oh I know I am soooo great sort of way. Say something nice to me in person or on the phone and my brain shuts down.


I will use an example. Today because of life’s odd circumstances I found myself on the phone with a man that I do not know but know of and that, though I have never met him, I know he has certain talents that I very much admire. That sounds very dirty.

Does that sound dirty?

Would you like to think that’s naughty for a moment… go ahead. Come back when you’re ready to pull your mind out of the gutter….

Are we all back?

Okay, so the person I was talking to was an old friend of Mr. Kaos’, a talented musician who he hadn’t seen in years but who through an odd series of coincidence and interwebby stuff contacted Mr. Kaos.

So they met up to say HELLO.

As for the reason I was on the phone with him, well I called Mr. Kaos and he put me on the phone with him despite my protestations that I am a shy and delicate flower… So we were chit chatting about the weather and the affable nature of Mr. Kaos when I was thinking I should tell him how much I like that one song in particular that he played (and that I played at my wedding because I liked it just that much) when he told me he liked my blog. This is what ensued:

Cami’s Brain: Oh shit! Shit did you hear that? Did you hear what he said? That was nice. What do we do what do we do????

Other side of Cami’s Brain: SAY THANK YOU!

CB: But he said he liked our blog. That’s CamiKaos’ territory. Where is she when we need her?

OCB: Umm… no, don’t bring her into this. I think we should just say Thank You. That’s what mom would say.

CamiKaos’ Brain: Of course he likes it, everyone LOVES ME, I’m Cami fricken Kaos!

OCB: CamiKaos is such a brat! Just say thank you.

CB: Fine, but I know there is something else I was gonna say!!!

So after what seemed to me like an uncomfortable pause in the conversation I said “Thank You”.

But I think my brain was really too busy trying to process the unexpected compliment (who knew he’d read my blog? I didn’t. Left field babies).

So to my lovely internet babies… if you want to say something nice put it in writing…

And to Mr. Kaos’ old friend… I really like that one song, we played it at our wedding (and those other 3 or 4 too)…

Oh, and welcome to the Internet.

15 thoughts on “it’s complementary

  1. Maddy says:

    Compliments are very uncommon in Britain, perhaps that why I’m no good at it either? Well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.Cheers

  2. CamiKaos says:

    flutter: I heart you. And you, you don’t smell eithermaddy: I always wonder at the number of people that have a hard time with them. It seems much more common than the ability to take them in stride.Lindy: Yeah baby, in writing where I can carefully evaluate the compliment over and over until I determine the proper course of action and I am done blushing and or being giddy.Mr. Fab: Ah yes, you are so very non complimentary of me and my stuffs.Mie: It could be worse, I make it sound like I don’t appreciate compliments, I really do, they just throw me off track… except for Mr. Kaos’ he is very complimentary and it was a pleasure learning to live with it.

  3. Jo Beaufoix says:

    No trouble with giving compliments me, but a bit crappy at accepting them though. So I get this. But you are gorgeous and talented and wonderful sweet, so you must get it all the time…Well I think you are anyway. ;D

  4. landismom says:

    I get this way too–except generally I’m like, “oh no, I’m not good at that at all, you really don’t mean it” and end up offending the person who was trying to compliment me!

  5. furiousBall says:

    accepting compliments graciously is tough, i usually try to f something up in the process of doing something well to avoid themif that fails just give them the finger before they say something nice

  6. CamiKaos says:

    furiousball: that is a fab tactic.landismom: my parent’s would be so irritated if I did anything less than thank you. My dad was so proud today that he posted his own blog post about it.Jo: Oh I was all ready to complement him. He threw me off balance with his kind words.Did any of you check out those links? They are videos of Mr. Kaos’ Friend John performing. Filmed by Mr. Kaos. I heart them.

  7. Martin Declan Kelly says:

    wow. i feel like such a bad friend. i would never have guessed that about you did i never tell you how amazing you are in person? that makes me feel lax!

  8. CamiKaos says:

    Martin: How can you feel like a bad friend? Did you see the next post I posted???? xoxo love love love… Can’t wait til January!BW: Oh I know sweetie.

  9. angel says:

    aw cami! you so deserve compliments- especially on your blog…but you know i’m biased, having such a ridiculous girl crush on you and all that…:D

  10. sybil law says:

    I think you suck.But you do it so WELL. Or at least, that’s what I’ve heard…Hahaha – you rock, sugar. ROCK.Loves

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