Our house is older, and the man who “fixed” up some of the details here before they put it on the market sucked ass. Okay, really I don’t know if he literally sucked ass or if he just sucked ass in the worst figurative sense of the term but let me tell you that instead of leaving the peeling paint on the outside of our 80 year old home or having it properly taken care of he opted for slapping two coats of neon white interior house paint on the peeling exterior of our home, that is one of the more helpful things he did.
Among the many crappy things he did to our house is replacing the main floor toilet. Did he put in a nice toilet? Hahahahaha. No. he put in what seems to be a factory 2nd that didn’t flush properly and not a single toilet seat in the world fit on.
NOT A ONE.
So to our toilet and the man who installed it let us express our sentiments:
As you may have guessed after 3 years of living with the ridiculous toilet that needs to be jiggled and coaxed along in order to do the one thing it is supposed to do, FLUSH, we have decided it is time for a change, so I got right in there:
How did we know how to do all this? We read the fucking manual. Does that mean we know what we are doing? Hell no, but we can rip shit out.
I think this is around the time Mr. Kaos suggested I have a contest: I’ll buy a drink at Springwaters for the person who correctly predicts when we’ll have a working toilet in there again. Don’t live in Portland? I’ll buy you a drink if you’re ever in town.
We had consumed a margarita each at this point (good margaritas from scratch with the good tequila, there is no other way to do bathroom work). We were still going strong. Luckily our friend brought over her daughter to play with K and the girls were playing zoo in the other room. Perfect timing.
The girls were really convinced they could turn this into a lesson of some kind. How bout don’t stick your faces in a rusted out toilet for a lesson?
Of course the day wouldn’t be complete without a visit from Vice President Reid (vote for Reid for Association President, he’ll do anything for a laugh).
“Is that where the poo goes?”