Am I nostalgic today? Thoughtful? Full of feeling? Certainly I am. I am and I am.

It’s “Spring Break” and raining. Mr. Kaos is away on a 12 hour business trip. Stupid. K is home with me and has already asked if she can have an all day PJ extravaganza. I said yes. Sure. No problem kiddo, we’ll have a PJ extravaganza together. Do other 5 year olds use the word extravaganza?

So now in my thoughtful PJ extravaganza day I’m dwelling on friends. I have a hard time sustaining friends sometimes because I burn so hot and cold as a person. I can be 100% focused for a little while but then I flutter away, feather in the wind to light on something else. Just me. I find the people my heart gravitates to when some one says the word friend are people who I’ve known for years, long enough to wander away from and back to sometimes several times. Long enough for them to know my story and for me to know theirs. Those people I know, and they know me. They know if they suddenly have a bad day (or a great one) and haven’t breathed my name in 3 years they can find me and I will hold their hand. And I know the same is true of them.

They deserve a medal. Not for being MY friend (though I will gladly hand out a medal to anyone who has put up with me for more than 7 years) but for being my idea of an amazing human being. I watch them carefully through the years. Each friend is a beautiful magnificent person. Each one different.

I miss you all. Did I see you yesterday? Has it been 10 years? Have I never even laid eyes on you? I miss you. There are days I don’t know how I go on without you. In truth I just do. I have a lot to live for. My friends are a big part of that.

Friends, friends to be, friends who were: Thanks…

6 thoughts on “friends…

  1. sybil law says:

    maybe that’s why we get along… you and i are so alike in that sense. right now i am hot with/on/for you?! hahaha – sounds completely weird! but i’ve never run cold with you, is what i guess i mean, like i do with sooo many other people in my life. you are steadfast and true. good things. love you. :)and i also want my medal. but silver – gold just – yech. haha

  2. dream says:

    in about 6 and a half years i will be expecting my medal ;p (sorry for the late post the boys dont give me much online time :(

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