On masks, maybe-friends, and the quiet exhaustion of trying too hard for too long. I used to think friendship was binary. That story—the one about flower bracelets and a life-sized doll—was where I started. It set the tone, the standard, the shape of what I thought friendship was supposed to feel like. Then everything got … Continue reading my history of understanding friendship — act II: the third thing
Tag: mental health
my history of understanding friendship — act I: the bracelet-making soulmate and the life-sized goodbye..
When I was a kid, friendship felt pretty straightforward. You’d walk up to another kid on the playground and ask if they wanted to play. If they said yes and were nice, boom: friend. If they said no or broke one of my sacred, unspoken rules? Not a friend. Just some kid with poor judgment. … Continue reading my history of understanding friendship — act I: the bracelet-making soulmate and the life-sized goodbye..
the thing about 2024…
2024 came on the heels of 2023. Let me tell you something about 2023. It was fucking rough. I don’t remember it particularly well, but I remember how it felt. Like I'd been hit by a semi-truck. In May of 2023 I flew home from a business trip overseas and slept for three days. When … Continue reading the thing about 2024…
the world mental health day post I wanted to write…
I feel too much. It has always been a problem for me. It's like someone put the dimmer switch for feelings all the way up when I was born. All feelings are big. Songs that make me feel happy or nostalgic make me feel so happy and nostalgic that my face begins to leak. When … Continue reading the world mental health day post I wanted to write…
the diagnosis…
The past 18 months or so of my life have been a lot. Never mind any part that has anything to do with anything outside of my brain, body, and spirit. Reflecting on the me-ness of this past year and a half has been a lot. I think my childhood was about avoiding diagnosis and … Continue reading the diagnosis…
and then I had hives…
This post is not going to have any pictures because no one wants to see a picture of hives. It's not like my hives were in the shape of Mickey Mouse or a cute heart swirled into a mocha foam or a deity. They were just hives. Itchy painful insanity making hives. And I had … Continue reading and then I had hives…
this post has been making me anxious…
While it’s often easy to be self effacing, nothing matches the difficulty of saying, "There's something wrong with me." And meaning it. It's hard to acknowledge that you're different in a way that isn't “special.” That isn't “good.” That isn't “normal.” That people think is “wrong” or “weird.” That you think is wrong. It's hard … Continue reading this post has been making me anxious…
CamiKaos 