I started the morning with a video a friend sent me. In it, a guy was talking about his workout attitude. He had been all-or-nothing. If he couldn’t do it perfectly, he wouldn’t do it at all. That hit me. Hard. I’ve been circling around this idea for years: literal thinking, binary thinking, the trap … Continue reading No One Sees the Dial
Thyroid meds, dread, hope, and lotion on the skin. I am fragile like a bomb… carving out space for joy while my body recalibrates.
When I was a kid, all the way through the end of my school career, I was frequently absent. I was accused regularly of playing sick to achieve this level of absence. The amount of guilt I have carried with me over the years for faking sick is... a lot. It's a lot to carry. … Continue reading cami is absent today…
If you know me even a little you probably know that the last two years of my life have been... intensecrazeda complete mental breakdownmeditativefull of growthdifficulta rollercoaster of medicationa cascade of evaluations and diagnoses full of doctorsfull of lovemuch pinker than the previous 45 years of my lifeI haven't had a lot of time to … Continue reading I accidentally left my martini in 2023…
2024 came on the heels of 2023. Let me tell you something about 2023. It was fucking rough. I don’t remember it particularly well, but I remember how it felt. Like I'd been hit by a semi-truck. In May of 2023 I flew home from a business trip overseas and slept for three days. When … Continue reading the thing about 2024…
I feel too much. It has always been a problem for me. It's like someone put the dimmer switch for feelings all the way up when I was born. All feelings are big. Songs that make me feel happy or nostalgic make me feel so happy and nostalgic that my face begins to leak. When … Continue reading the world mental health day post I wanted to write…
The past 18 months or so of my life have been a lot. Never mind any part that has anything to do with anything outside of my brain, body, and spirit. Reflecting on the me-ness of this past year and a half has been a lot. I think my childhood was about avoiding diagnosis and … Continue reading the diagnosis…
Monday I was back at the doctor's office. More tests. More talking. More trying to figure out what exactly it is that is going on with me. I've aged into some health problems. Or probably more accurately I've aged into being aware of some health problems that have been problematic for years but I just … Continue reading making a medical case for ground unicorn horn…
CamiKaos 