At some point fairly recently I finally acknowledged that a fair portion of my completely exhausting myself before noon has nothing to do with effort and everything to do with momentum. If I wake up with nothing structured or enforced ahead of me, I will either absolutely, deeply, fully do nothing… or I’ll ricochet from … Continue reading trying not to tilt…
I spoke at an open source conference last week.For the first time since I left my old job.For the first time since the breakdown.For the first time since the diagnosis. I tried to follow the old, tried-and-true formula for writing a talk. The process that always worked before. It didn’t serve me. But it didn’t … Continue reading Masking Monday: Unscripted, Unmasked, Undone…
Unmasking Is Weird For most of my life, I’ve felt fake.Not dishonest. Not deceptive. Just… performed. Like every interaction came with a script I didn’t write but had to memorize to survive. Smile here. Ask that. Tilt your head just so. Don’t talk too much. Don’t talk too little. Don’t stim. Don’t fidget. Don’t correct … Continue reading be yourself, but not like that…
CamiKaos 