Some creatures come bearing joy. Others bring mayhem. Mine arrived and immediately began reorganizing the house—emotionally and otherwise. This week, he unearthed a long-forgotten tiki relic, possibly cursed (definitely ceramic), and claimed it as his own. I haven’t questioned his intentions. Mostly because he hasn’t blinked in four days. Day 29 The silence between us … Continue reading Creature Report: Entry 005 – He Knows What He Did
back in the box…
Sometimes, I just stop. Not because the day is over. Not because everything’s done. But because I’ve reached my limit. Sensory, emotional, existential—doesn’t matter which. My system throws a little internal breaker switch and suddenly it’s time. Back in the box. It’s not a literal box (though if you told me I could crawl into … Continue reading back in the box…
Masking Monday: Unscripted, Unmasked, Undone…
I spoke at an open source conference last week.For the first time since I left my old job.For the first time since the breakdown.For the first time since the diagnosis. I tried to follow the old, tried-and-true formula for writing a talk. The process that always worked before. It didn’t serve me. But it didn’t … Continue reading Masking Monday: Unscripted, Unmasked, Undone…
Creature Report: Entry 004 – They’re Heeeeere
It finally happened. After weeks of delay, incantations disguised as order confirmations, and whispered pleas into the void of tracking numbers… two of the creatures arrived. But not by mail. Not by courier. Not even via Pop Mart drop. They were hand-delivered by my internet fairy godfather at the sweetest little coffee shop on the … Continue reading Creature Report: Entry 004 – They’re Heeeeere
Masking Monday: What Is Masking, Really?
I’ve worn a version of myself like a costume for so long that I don’t always know who’s underneath it. Some days, I’m just a collection of practiced expressions.A carefully modulated tone.A perfectly timed laugh.A soft nod when I want to scream.A full human suit built to make sure you’re comfortable—no matter what it costs … Continue reading Masking Monday: What Is Masking, Really?
Creature Report Entry 003: Is this a customer service séance?
I’m not sure if I’ve reached out in faith or if I’ve simply begun to mourn. I emailed the seller—not with rage or even frustration, but with something softer. Something that lives between hope and grief. Was it a hopeful communication attempt? Or the first stage of goblin-related loss? It’s hard to tell. Time moves … Continue reading Creature Report Entry 003: Is this a customer service séance?
My Nervous System Has Notes…
I had a conversation today with the good friend of a good friend—one of those generous, strategic humans who actually knows things about hiring and was kind enough to let me pick his brain. Because, yes, I need a job. And while we’re all supposed to pretend that’s a casual thing you manifest through vibes … Continue reading My Nervous System Has Notes…
Post 1200: A Love Letter to Every Version of Me Who Hit Publish
Somewhere in November of 2006, I let something out I hadn’t meant to share—just a breath at first. But it turned into a voice. It wasn’t calculated.It was necessary.And it was brave. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew I needed to say something. Anything. Loudly. On the internet. Before I drowned … Continue reading Post 1200: A Love Letter to Every Version of Me Who Hit Publish
Creature Report Entry 002: Do Not Perceive Me Until Delivery
I thought the emotional peak had passed. I thought I had ordered the monsters, whispered the affirmations, made peace with my choices, and settled in to wait. But no. The wait has its own chaos. It’s week two of falling down the Labubu hole, and things have escalated in ways I cannot fully explain. I’ve … Continue reading Creature Report Entry 002: Do Not Perceive Me Until Delivery
I’m Writing an Advice Column. Ask Me Something Weird and Specific…
When I was growing up, I wanted to be a thousand different things depending on the day. Some of them made sense. Some of them were just hyperfixations in disguise. But through all the shifting interests and costume changes, a few constants stuck: I wanted to be my Aunt Sandy. I wanted to be Catwoman. … Continue reading I’m Writing an Advice Column. Ask Me Something Weird and Specific…
CamiKaos 