The past tree months have been a whirlwind. Do you remember when you were a kid how quickly summer vacation went? Sabbatical felt like that. Like it happened in no time at all. But it also feels like it's been ages since I sat down to work with my teammates both at Automattic and in … Continue reading one more day…
While it’s often easy to be self effacing, nothing matches the difficulty of saying, "There's something wrong with me." And meaning it. It's hard to acknowledge that you're different in a way that isn't “special.” That isn't “good.” That isn't “normal.” That people think is “wrong” or “weird.” That you think is wrong. It's hard … Continue reading this post has been making me anxious…
I’ve never been comfortable in stillness the aching awareness of one place with no motion you can feel everything the eeriness of it the yearning to move the ache where your body rests on the world just so. Just so still and while I lay still my mind would do loops as the world moved … Continue reading in stillness…
Before my sabbatical began Rick was having a conversation with someone who asked how he thought it would go or what I was planning to do. Something. I don't remember who he was talking to (was it you?) and I don't remember what they asked. But I remember what he told me he answered. He … Continue reading the sabbatical halfway mark…
As previously discussed here I made a lot of lists moving into this sabbatical. I did a lot of thinking. I made gentle plans. And in doing so I thought I had used all the practical knowledge I had on hand. I tried to predict what Cami would do with a 3 month period of … Continue reading expect the unexpected: a sabbatical warning about plants…
I dreamt this morning that I was on sabbatical and had been for one month. Which is true. Today marks the first day of my second month of sabbatical. That was the case in the dream as well, only in this dream-life I was not a community organizer for the WordPress open source project. I … Continue reading a second month of sabbatical…
When I was a kid I was convinced of a lot of things. There was a toothy monster lurking in the deep end of the pool, wild boars are evil and had a personal vendetta against me, I'd be kidnapped if I went to the bathroom by myself in a public place, my brother was … Continue reading a tale of anxiety in many parts: recognition
It takes a certain amount of effort being comfortable in your own skin, and really I thought I was closer to being there than I appear to actually be. But as my friend reminded me this morning this is a big change for me, for my rhythm. And change takes time. So for all of … Continue reading the sabbatical begins…
I've never been quite sure why, but particularly in times of stress or uncertainty my brain functions as a long series of lists. I have this mental image of those unending scrolls that would roll out in a movie about Santa neatly filled edge to edge with list after list after list. All the work … Continue reading the sabbatical lists…
It would surprise no one who knows me in my personal life that my birthday is, for me, a big deal. While others would like the anniversary of their birth to pass with nary a reminder, I prefer to be reminded that this is a day of Cami celebration over and over and over again. … Continue reading 41 and learning to share…
