When I was growing up, I wanted to be a thousand different things depending on the day. Some of them made sense. Some of them were just hyperfixations in disguise. But through all the shifting interests and costume changes, a few constants stuck: I wanted to be my Aunt Sandy. I wanted to be Catwoman. … Continue reading I’m Writing an Advice Column. Ask Me Something Weird and Specific…
Category: Uncategorized
Creature Report Entry 001: Please Be Weird in a Way I Can Love
I didn’t mean to become a person who collects weird little goblin toys. I’ve long hated Elf on the Shelf and its smug surveillance vibes. I’m more of a Skelly person—a full-sized plastic skeleton who lives in our house year-round. You can’t lose something that big. Though, to be fair, bones do keep falling off. … Continue reading Creature Report Entry 001: Please Be Weird in a Way I Can Love
be yourself, but not like that…
Unmasking Is Weird For most of my life, I’ve felt fake.Not dishonest. Not deceptive. Just… performed. Like every interaction came with a script I didn’t write but had to memorize to survive. Smile here. Ask that. Tilt your head just so. Don’t talk too much. Don’t talk too little. Don’t stim. Don’t fidget. Don’t correct … Continue reading be yourself, but not like that…
Blanket Statement
(It's Not a Security Blanket. It’s a Lifestyle Choice.) When I was a kid, I had the blanket. You know the one. Threadbare but beloved. Always slightly damp at one corner. Soft in a way nothing else on earth quite managed to be. I dragged it everywhere—across tile floors, into the back seat of the … Continue reading Blanket Statement
my history of understanding friendship — act III: of course I’m on a spectrum…
No relationship lives in black and white—and apparently, neither do I. In Act I, I told you about Cheri—the first friend who saw me without flinching. That friendship cracked something open in me, and then it broke me when it ended. In Act II, I picked up the pieces and tried to rebuild myself out … Continue reading my history of understanding friendship — act III: of course I’m on a spectrum…
cami is absent today…
When I was a kid, all the way through the end of my school career, I was frequently absent. I was accused regularly of playing sick to achieve this level of absence. The amount of guilt I have carried with me over the years for faking sick is... a lot. It's a lot to carry. … Continue reading cami is absent today…
never will
words swarmingstinging for attentionnot in turnen masse. if I couldI’d compile themcollect themalign themfor battlefor beautyfor sense. alas I never will write a poemyou know… because of the tism.
I accidentally left my martini in 2023…
If you know me even a little you probably know that the last two years of my life have been... intensecrazeda complete mental breakdownmeditativefull of growthdifficulta rollercoaster of medicationa cascade of evaluations and diagnoses full of doctorsfull of lovemuch pinker than the previous 45 years of my lifeI haven't had a lot of time to … Continue reading I accidentally left my martini in 2023…
so my therapist asked about my hair process…
I had a very productive session with my therapist on Monday. This is my standard all the time therapist that I'm seeing every week because that's just how life is right now. If you find yourself being late in life diagnosed with Autism and ADHD within a few months of one another I also encourage … Continue reading so my therapist asked about my hair process…
desperately seeking an ethical replacement for instagram…
Deep heavy sigh. The world has fallen into chaos once more and here I am with no instagram stories available for me to express my forty-seven-year-old-teenage feelings on. And it's by my own stupid choice. Let's face it, many of us need a break from all that is happening in our country. I poked my … Continue reading desperately seeking an ethical replacement for instagram…
CamiKaos 