I remember these nights13 going on 50sitting out on the roof smoking clovesburning incensebelieving no one could tell the differenceand sneaking aroundso very quiettrying not to get caughtnot to get in trouble I couldn’t sleep thenthe weight of itthe world pressing downlike it had chosen us specificallyto hold it up 48 still going on 50and … Continue reading nocturnes: someone has to sleep…
I’d make a list for youOf all the things that are sadBut where would I start? What’s sad in the worldWhat’s sad in the countryWhat’s sad in the cityWhat’s sad on my blockWhat’s sad in my houseWhat’s sad in me? I don’t have the years to write out every bit of sadness.Here or anywhere. It’s … Continue reading poetry time: what’s sad
I’ve never been comfortable in stillness the aching awareness of one place with no motion you can feel everything the eeriness of it the yearning to move the ache where your body rests on the world just so. Just so still and while I lay still my mind would do loops as the world moved … Continue reading in stillness…
short of breath not for lack of air but because it catches in my mouth. in my nose. in my throat. with thoughts of why and how and why now because everything used to be simple easy except that's misremembering nothing has even been either of those and the breath I can catch flows like … Continue reading words…
they buzz and swirl while I sleep a funnel cloud scratching, nagging tickling memories inciting panic ensuring unrest until their buzzing leads to tossing turning and I open my eyes in the dark.
reasons don’t matter I have them plentiful. meaningful. beautiful. trivial. but they don’t matter. reasons have no soul they don’t wake from a dream wanting... breathe life into an inconsequential day... make memories... reasons won’t change your heart or mind... and they won’t soothe mine. -CK
moments that feel like memories when something cold stops you catching a breath in your throat holding it uncomfortable until you can decide what it is torment or hope fear or relief something familiar but unexpected you can't know until it passes
So they aren't really lost, nor were they written too long ago in the grand scheme of things, but I would say 16 years is long enough to pull them out of their paper tombs. I'm in the process of typing up and storing away many of my old pieces and as I do so … Continue reading the long lost poems…
I never know if it's just me. Can't quite work out if it's just my mind that plays this way. But I pick out words. Phrases. Thoughts. And I retain them for years. Sometimes they're my own words, sometimes they're the words of others. You'd think this would come in handy in certain situations. Like … Continue reading the gray in between…
curled up where in the summer there would be sun shivering but not from winter's nip as limbs stray reaching for long gone warmth not caring that they'd be warmer tucked in curled up protected from the hazy light that will never be a sunbeam
CamiKaos 