It’s 1:33 pm, and I’m sitting with my cat on the TV room couch. Some awful supernatural television show is playing in the background to comfort my nerves. Not because I like where it went, but because I watched it so many times that its episodes feel like home. 

Today is the first full day of my self-imposed social media detox. Yesterday I had a doctor’s appointment to check in on my health. So of course I needed something to be dramatic about and obsessed with in the morning. The social media detox was it. I deleted Twitter without blinking. 

Good riddance. 

A Cami from 15 years in the past would have fought it all the way. Died a little inside. Next was Facebook. And with pleasure. 

Then look at Instagram. 

Oh, Instagram I know I should hate you but I don’t. Even though I liked you so much more when you were just pictures and happiness. But you’re a little bit poisonous at times and I can’t have that kind of sweet-sweet-candy-social media. I decided I clearly needed to be obsessed and dramatic over something for a while longer so obviously, I would need to compose an Instagram post. You know so it doesn’t freak a person out if they follow me on the internet but have no way to contact me IRL if I abandon the sweet-sweet-candy-social media for a week or a month or something that makes no sense like 7 years.

So as I sat, fully ready to head to my appointment 30 minutes before I needed to because how else am I supposed to be calm about anything? I composed a post. A post that I’m not going to link to here because then I’d risk seeing social media. But you get the point. It said something blah blah blah about going on a social media detox for my own health or something. It was very heartfelt but I can’t remember what I said. Oh, and a picture of my face because what else was I going to post with that. And then it was time to go. 

So I closed the app, only to realize I didn’t do three things I meant to do, But it was time to leave the house. So yea, I rushed to do them. And then I clicked on the app to make sure there wasn’t anything I needed to know. Like had my post failed to go through? Was there a post from Madam Adam that was probably meant for me? Did anyone need to send me a quick note before I went away?

It turns out my anxiousness served me well and I found a note I had indeed wanted to see. I copied its contents and texted the info to myself because that’s how mature sane calm reasonable women communicate with themselves.  

And then just before I stepped out the door I poked the app for a little too long and watched the icon quiver beneath my finger and then booped the little line in the top corner to make it disappear.

Well and then I had to tell it to Delete App. And then there was the last screen where I had to select Delete. You know. JUST IN CASE I REALLY DIDN’T MEAN IT. GIVE SOCIAL MEDIA A CHANCE!

But I did. And it seemed to suck itself into oblivion and disappear completely before my eyes. 

So that was the very dramatic recap of yesterday. The first partial day. Now we’re at today. The first full day. 

So what have I done to fill the time? Well, my cat and I were a little chilly. So I went to adjust the thermostat so we wouldn’t be freezing cold. But while I was up doing that I was still chilly. So after fixing the thermostat so we didn’t have meat lockers in all of the other rooms of the house but it was slightly warm where the thermostat is located I went to find something warm. 

At first, I went with my big soft velvety bathrobe. Comfy. Warm. Soft. But then I’m wearing a bathrobe.

What with the whole mental health crisis with a physical health crisis tacked on I thought maybe sitting around in my bathrobe all day on the last day of June watching my stories wasn’t the right direction to be headed. So I thought maybe I should add to this pajama-esque ensemble I was rocking: black bamboo sweats and a long floaty black bamboo t-shirt that is sold by a brand that I know to make only pajamas but I never saw anywhere that this shirt is a pajama shirt so it doesn’t break my one hard and fast mental health wardrobe rule which is that I’m not to leave my house in pajamas unless it is for a pajama-themed event or at the time of a true emergency in which I already happen to be wearing pajamas.

So to dress it up I went to the front room and got my dusty pink faux muppet fur coat and slid into it. It had been too long. And that is when I got to what I have now identified as stage two of social media detox. My outfit of the day obsession. That’s right. Stage two of social media detox is creating great content in my head that I should obviously be sharing with others RIGHT AWAY. Because everyone is going to want to see this middle-aged mama in her flowy bamboos and linens. Shrouded in black with ridiculous pops of soft candy pinks and sometimes reds. Not to mention my bird skull ring and anatomical heart pin. 

I’m on a journey here. A journey to obsess about something that probably isn’t what I should be obsessing over. 

The room has warmed up to a reasonable temperature so the coat is a little much now and I’m not sure how to sign off on this journal so… yeah. I’m going to go find a light jacket or something.