This is where I tell you something gross about myself.  Why?  Because I can’t think of anything else to write about that I can write about and I was quite afraid I would forget the password for my blog if I didn’t write something soon.

Also?  I like to listen to myself talk.  Or type as the case may be.

So what is this horror of horrors?  This gross thing I’m going to tell you about the dainty delicate Cami Kaos?  It’s my finger, folks.  My finger, the index finger belonging to my left hand to be precise, is very special.  You see nearly two years ago I was cleaning the bathroom floor – down on my hands and knees – scrubbing around the side of the toilet back where I couldn’t see when I felt a sharp pinch and a great deal of pressure.  As I withdrew my hand to look at it I noted drops of crimson on my crisp white and black bathroom floor and then watched as blood beaded up and then ran.

Yes.  Ran…

Down my finger and my hand getting everywhere.  Yuck.  Double yuck.  I don’t like the site of blood.

You see some time back a frame had fallen off the wall and the glass shattered.  I’d thought I’d gotten every tiny piece but clearly some remained.  On the floor.  Wedged beneath and behind the toilet.  Until I decided to scrub the floor and it was firmly embedded in my finger.

Once I got it all rinsed off I carefully removed a large splinter, more of a shard really, from my finger and then washed the wound carefully, put bacitracin on it, and wrapped it tight to slow the bleeding.  Because it was.  Bleeding.  It hurt a ridiculous amount and it wasn’t until it started to heal a bit that I realized it wasn’t just cut.  It was bruised.  And it wasn’t just bruised.  There was still glass in my damn finger.

So for 20ish months I’ve been favoring that poor little finger.  I even learned to type with 9 fingers for a while to avoid the bizarre numb touch of the tip of my index finger.

Then yesterday as I scratched my cheek I felt a strange something drag across it.  I pulled my finger away to peer at it and noticed what looked like a bit of dead flaky skin.  But upon closer consideration I realized there was something working its way from the inside out.

Nearly two years later and a tiny chunk was being forced to the surface and it was no big deal to gently pull it out.  It makes me wonder how long it will take for the little chunk that’s still left inside to get the hell out.

Human bodies are weird.

{ 8 comments }

Year and years and years ago, back in the day when I was young (but old enough to drink) I was dating a man who wanted to watch Titanic with me.  The movie.  I don’t know if he really liked the movie or if he thought it was a good movie to watch on the couch with the girl he was dating.

Truth is, it doesn’t matter.

He put the movie on.  I fell asleep.  I wasn’t tired. I was just too bored to be awake.

But in the movie there was dancing, sexy time,  people died, and the ship sank.

Right?  Right.

So don’t tell me I need to see it in 3-D.

Okay?  Okay.

{ 1 comment }

you know, like on the wii…

March 29, 2012

My thumb is sore. While I find it important that you note this, it probably isn’t the reason for what happened last night.  I could use it as an excuse though.  Maybe I should use it as an excuse.  My poor sad hurt thumb.  Come to think of it, it probably IS the reason for [...]

Read the full article →

mother nature and I will just have to agree to disagree…

March 22, 2012

In my world there are really only two kinds of shoes that count… Pretty boots and pretty heels.  Sure, sure.  There are sneakers and flats and flip-flops and stuff but those are all second class citizens in my world.  I wear them out of necessity.  Practicality.  When one goes on a ten mile walk, one [...]

Read the full article →

because just maybe I’m an adult now. possibly…

March 21, 2012

As I sat in the waiting room of one of my kid’s classes I was basking in the relative quiet and using the opportunity to get some emails sent out for work in the midst of what is an incredibly busy week.  I glanced up to see what was happening on the other side of [...]

Read the full article →

the chronicles of fish…

March 20, 2012

Internets, meet Fish. Fish, meet the internets. No, that’s not his name.  No, I don’t know what his name is.  He hasn’t told us.  Yet. He’s still acclimating.  To the water.  To his tank.  And to us. It would seem, in that, Fish and I have a lot in common. Tweet This Post

Read the full article →

the sex face and other embarrassing natural occurrences…

January 28, 2012

It’s a sad fact of human nature that when we are in our most intimate moments we make faces that… well, that defy description.  We may also sweat, moan, sigh, grunt, scream, squeal, squeak, and there are other things too.  Things I won’t even get into.  The fact is sex would be gross and comical [...]

Read the full article →

expecting the unexpected is a totally vicious circle…

January 18, 2012

A few weeks ago I made a somewhat severe dietary change.  There were reasons for it. Many many reasons.  Health.  Energy.  Vanity.  Age.  The fact that half my fucking clothes don’t fit. I’ve been dragging for ages.  Not sleeping.  No energy.  Grumpy.  Yes, you heard me.  I’ve been grumpy. So I needed a change, and [...]

Read the full article →

drip tease…

January 17, 2012

Today was a should have day.  A would have day.  When I drifted off to sleep last night there were two sets of plans in my head.  My mind turned them each over and over reviewing and revising what needed to occur for both Plan A and Plan B until the possibilities for both had [...]

Read the full article →

precisely 22 minutes…

January 16, 2012

Today, as I sat in the waiting room waiting for my girl’s class to finish, there was a problem. A disturbance. In the force, if you will. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.  They were totally in my head though… But still, they needed silencing. You see, [...]

Read the full article →