ghosts of blog posts past: knowing…

In an attempt to clean things up I’m once again going through the posts that, for some reason, were never posted. Some of them are little stories, specific incidents, brief trains of thought. Others, like the one below from December last year, are like a long form vague tweet that months later not even I can guess at their catalyst…


There are times that you figure something out.  Either because it magically dawns on you after trying so hard to fit the pieces together or because you’re presented with an additional snippet of life, experience, or information.  That moment of discovery.  Of realization?  It can be so intense that the consequences of the knowledge are briefly blown away and the fact that you finally have it figured out is fucking magical.

Until it sinks in that you can’t undo the knowing.

Wondering can be pushed aside.  Uncertainty can be reasoned with.  Pain can subside.

Knowledge though, knowledge is a powerful thing.  Once you know something you can’t unknow it without intervention… like a sharp knock to the head or a degenerative brain disease.

I’m not up for either of those so my only option is to look at things the way they are and think.

But the thinking?  Makes me a little sick to my stomach.

About camikaos

As a lifelong writer Cami has always been inquisitive and curious. It’s a quality that has left her enamored with the ever-changing world of technology and the people who build it. That’s how she found herself smack in the middle of the Portland tech scene 10 years ago, first with blogs and then events and podcasting. While back in the day she focused on innovative podcasts such Strange Love Live and memePDX and events like 30 Hour Day, she now spends more time making order out of chaos in her life, parenting, work and from time to time Having lived in Portland, Oregon for nearly 20 years, she can’t imagine making another city her home, or finding a place better suited for raising her daughter. Cami works at Automattic as a community organizer for the WordPress open source project, overseeing the WordCamp community conference program. She can be found, quite often, on Twitter as @camikaos.
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2 Responses to ghosts of blog posts past: knowing…

  1. Sandy says:

    You are such an incredible writer! Have you ever considered writing a book?

  2. camikaos says:

    Thank you, Aunt Sandy. And thought about? Yes. Put into practical application? Ha.

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