There’s a routine. A way I do things. Every night before I close my eyes and sleep I turn the ringer off on my phone. Plug it in to charge and curl up on my side to close my eyes and sleep.
Except last night.
Last night I turned the ringer up. Set my phone in the nook of my headboard and only fell asleep after hours. Hours of thoughts and words.
I knew in the morning my phone would ring. I knew it would wake me up. I knew I wouldn’t like what I had to hear, but I would have no choice but to hear it.
At 8:26 Sunday morning my phone did ring. I reached up with my eyes closed and answered without looking to see who it was. I was only going through the motions. I knew my mother was on the other end. I knew she was going to tell my that her mother, a woman I have never been able to respect or agree with, was gone. She died Sunday morning in the ICU. Heart failure. Kidney Failure. Pneumonia.
She was old. She’d been ill for a long time.
I hadn’t seen her in 17 years.
Still I grieve. But I can grieve with my ringer off.
{ 1 trackback }
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I know you and Mom never got along. Believe me I completely agree, but she was my mom and I loved her. She is at peace now, hopefully Grandpa can find some peace on this earth, he never had much before now.
See you tomorrow. I love you.
xoxoxoxo
I am sorry to hear about your Mom, Cami. My best wishes to you, Matt, and your families.
Chad
Sorry for your loss before and after her death.
-Stu
I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to mom. Love you all.
Sorry Cami, that is hard.. even if you didn’t see eye to eye.. in a way that makes it harder.. I know this post was a while ago, but I just read it, and wanted to say sorry that you went through that sad time, I understand, I felt the same way when my grandma passed.