Confession time babies. I have to come clean. Tell you something. Let it all out.
I want to start with a clean slate with you guys and I don’t see how I can do that without you knowing a little bit of my history. My upbringing. Something that scarred me and I’m sure kind of made me who I am today.
While for many people their first concert is a fine and glorious event mine was a thing of nightmares. My mom and her sister (the super fan) took me to the State Fair. There in the early hours of the night I was forced (with the screaming teeming masses) to listen to and watch KENNY ROGERS perform live and in person. Probably in a white polyester suit of some kind.
I’m fairly certain I recall my aunt flinging her panties at the stage.
So now do you have a better idea of what is wrong with me? Let me repeat that for you:
MY AUNT THREW HER PANTIES AT KENNY ROGERS!!! In front of me.
I think that’s way more viable than the twinkie defense.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Look…. I don’t know your aunt but man… I WAS EATING WHEN I READ THIS!!
Uh…
EWWWWWW!
This explains so much. So much.
Your aunt should’ve taken that advice about knowing when to hold ‘em.
I’d just like to go on record as saying……no there’s really nothing I can say to this. Nothing that will make the image go away. Why? I mean sure, Kenny Rogers was a successful “actor” in films like ‘Six Pack’ and the Gambler. Obvious he was also a successful singer, hell he even had a “successful” chain of chicken restaurants. But I draw the line at polyester suits. How could you ever bring up the horror of polyester suits? Let alone WHITE ones?!?!? What the hell is wrong with you?
My first record was Kenny Rogers’ Greatest Hits… I think my second was Judas Priest. I think the records secretly fought at night.
Holy crap… I too would be scarred fror life!
Speechless.
Of the all the people to throw panties at, KR? Really?
Adam: It wasn’t me! It was my AUNT. She and my mom damaged me for life.
Chris: I was just telling it like it happened.
Stu: That’s a battle the likes of which the world has never seen. Celebrity death match perhaps?
Robert: I hope you managed to enjoy the rest of your waffle.
Everyone else: Thank you for understanding the impact of this horrible event.
You enjoyed that concert, I have pictures to prove it. However, I wish to believe that you learned restraint at concerts because of that experience. He sang some wonderful love songs no matter what you say!
But he is no longer a favorite, except when we get out the oldies.